I haven't abandoned my blog, i'm just taking a mini break while I move and get my life in order but I WILL BE BACK!!!!

I've been having a really bizarre week. My stress levels have climbed and I have no idea why. I constantly have this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach but there is no reason for it. Well, it may have something to do with my imminent move and other such things :) But still! There isn't anything in particular that should be stressing about and it is pissing me off now. Especially this morning! I really wanted to have a sleep in and today was the perfect day for it! But trust me to wake up at 6:30 bloody am! Once I'm up my brain immediately fills with heaps of useless stuff for me to worry about. Great fun I tell you!

This week was fantastic for me exercise and eating wise. I managed to go to all 3 spinning classes that I had aimed to get to and I ate really well. But this weekend was another story altogether. I kind of lost the plot yesterday and ended up gorging myself on rubbish. Why do I do this to myself?

Today I had planned on going for a nice long walk to clear my head but as soon as I got outside I was hit by the icy cold wind and decided against the walk idea. I hate windy days, especially cold ones. So instead I got some healthy groceries for the upcoming week, came home and have sat in front of the TV watching rubbish movies all day! (taking full advantage of the heating in my apartment - before I have to move to my new place which is really old and has no heating.) How boring is that! But sometimes I think we need days like this :) Best of all, I haven't eaten any rubbish and am planning on cooking a healthy, hearty dinner. I hardly ever cook these days so it is going to be a real treat!

Sorry for the rather uninspiring post but hey, it's better than nothing ;)

I hope you all have a great week!

If ever there was an award for the oddest injuries, I think that it definately should go to me. I don't quite know how I do it or why but it just happens... It isn't fun folks!

First it was my nose, but not just my nose, I managed to break the bone that is inside my nose... The one that no one even knows exists and is apparently very hard to break!!! For those who don't remember, I broke my nose by having a gigantic gym mat blow into my face by an extremely strong gust of wind while photographing a lady pretending to jump out of a plane. - don't ask...

But noooo thats not all folks...

This morning I woke up just like I do every morning. I showered, got dressed, ate breakfast, went to work... just like I do every morning! However at around 10am the left side of my jaw started throbbing, I tried to ignore it but it just got worse. So I took two pain killers. This didn't help as the pain got worse and worse. Eventually I deduced that it must be tooth ache. I have never exprienced real tooth ache so I just assumed that that's what it must be. After all, I (ashamedly) have not paid a visit to a dentist in a good few years and i'm sure that my teeth are in need of some dentistry. Not to mention that my mouth was in agony.

So I phoned a dentist to see if they could see me urgently - they couldn't. I tried four other dentists and eventually I managed to find one that was willing to see me today!!! I can't believe how hard it is to find a dentist in an emergency!!! What happens if all my teeth decided to fall out at once? Or if a giant infestation of germs invaded my gums? You'd think they would have a few appointments available for urgent cases? But thankfully I did, eventually find one!

Sooo then I thought, hey! I now have medical insurance (that I pay $150AUD for every month)! Being a non resident of Australia, I have to pay through the roof for something that residents get for free, which I guess is fair enough. But the only issue I have with that is that I have a two month waiting period before I get to go to a doctor, dentist etc after initially taking out the insurance. BUT I registered for the insurance in March sooo thats two months.... or so I thought.... noooo my two month waiting period is up on Monday!!! Just my luck to need it 3 days before I can use it. 

Anyway for the amount of pain I was in I didn't care how much it would cost. 

I had to wait until 3pm before I could see the dentist and then I had to wait a further 40 minutes before she actually saw me. She then proceeded to prod and poke and came to the conclusion that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my teeth (sheer miracle) but that I have somehow managed to injure my jaw quite badly. She recons its from grinding my jaw/teeth (which I have no knowledge of doing), or from stress... She sent me off with a bill for $45 and instructions to rest my jaw and take more anti inflamatories and pain killers.

How does one rest one's jaw??? It hurts when I talk, eat, yawn and even when I smile!!!!

So now I am at home instead of being out for dinner which is where I am supposed to be, feeling very sorry for myself.

At least I didn't have to have a root canal!

It's been quite a while since I last updated. I have been so busy and have had so much to blog about but unfortunately it all seems to pile up before I get a chance to blog and by the time I actually decide to write a post I get overwhelmed and end up not writing one.

But here I sit tonight determined to at least post SOMETHING :)

I actually considered taking a bit of a blogging break for a while but then I came to my senses :)

I have Phil staying with me at the moment. She leaves on her travels in less than a week. I can't believe how fast time is moving. It feels like yesterday that I arrived in Australia and met all the amazing Melbourne bloggers yet it is almost three months!!! I know that Phil is going to have a ball and I hope that she gets to feel as welcome in the countries that she visits as I have been made to feel here.

I got to meet a few more amazing bloggers this past week. Jac from Brisbane, Shona from New Zealand (who's blog address I don't have - please send it to me Shona) and Kate and Sassy from Melbourne. It was great meeting such lovely, warm, interesting people.

Things are going pretty well for me these days. Work has improved tremendously and I am even enjoying it there a lot of the time. I do have my off days but that's all part of being human. I think it would be boring if it was good all of the time.

I have been going out way too much and I am rather tired but hey, it could be the opposite :) I'll take the tiredness...

I don't think my liver likes me anymore though.. but something has to be sacrificed ;)

Oh and big news!! Thanks to Jadey, I am now the proud owner of a gym membership once again!!! I haven't actually started yet, but the paperwork is done so that's a step in the right direction if you ask me! teehee 

Just to let you know that I am currently operating on approximately two hours of sleep so please forgive me if this post is a tad disjointed. I just HAD to post!!! I was having withdrawal symptoms!

I hope all is well out there in the blogosphere. I've missed you guys!

Now the title to this post is actually quite humorous but unfortunately for most of you, you won't have a clue what the hell I am talking about :) You see, tomorrow night is the start of Passover.

Passover is a Jewish holiday that commemorates the exodus from Egypt - it was pretty much the story of Moses and other animals :) For a brief yet interesting description on Passover, click here....

This time of year is also very significant and meaningful to me as it happens to commemorate a very important time in my life too.

It was exactly 3 years ago, on the first night of Passover that I had my epiphany!!! To this day I am not entirely sure what brought on this change in me but my life hasn't been the same since. I wasn't feeling very well at all, I had some kind of strange stomach bug. I ended up not eating a thing at both passover dinners which was unheard of for me. I always ate, especially at passover which is one of my favorite holidays where I get to eat some of my favorite foods!!! But something that night changed in me and it marked the start of my weight loss journey.

I have come a long way since then and as I said before, I am a very different and far better person (in my opinion). I just wish I could repeat what happened to me that night (yes, even if it means getting a bug and not being able to eat).

As far as I've come in my weight loss journey, I seem to have hit a bit of a wall. It's not that I'm gaining the weight back, its just that i've lost the drive that brought me so far. I have become quite lazy lately and I can't even get off my ass to go 9 flights down in the lift and get onto the treadmill every day. It is such a simple and easy thing to do and yet I'd much rather sleep in that extra half hour or so.

I seem to go through spurts of exercising for a week or two and then nothing... I have also become very undisciplined when it comes to eating. There are so many tempting things to eat and drink over here and it is hard not to get sucked in and indulge.

I am going to try and use this passover as a launching pad to get me back into the mindset that I found myself in 3 years ago. I was so driven and positive and willing to do whatever it took to get where I wanted. Most importantly I am going to get rid of this evil spare tyre that has made itself so very much at home on my waist.

On another completely different note. Remember in my last post I wrote about the strong gust of wind that blew the mat into my face? Well it seems that I have fractured my nose as a result of that. Isn't that a bizarre accident? I thought that all the dust from that day had caused my sinuses to flair up. I woke up on the Saturday morning with a terrible headache which felt like it was coming from my sinuses. I went off to work and took some pain killers which seemed to help for a while. I noticed however that when I tried to blow my nose it was incredibly painful. By Monday the pain in my "sinuses" hadn't gone away and had in fact gotten worse. So I went to a pharmacist and with his help discovered that I have indeed fractured my nose. There are no outward signs as it is the bone inside my nose, not the bridge of my nose...

How bloody bizarre is that!!!! - These things only happen to me ;)

So, to any Jewish readers out there I want to wish you Chag Sameach! And to anyone celebrating Easter out there, Happy Easter!

Well it WAS my party last night and boy what a great night it was. The only thing that would have made it more perfect is if my family and friends from South Africa could have been there too. But it was exactly how I wanted my 30th birthday to be.

I decided to have a real South African Braai / BBQ. I paid a visit to the South Africa shop last week and bought all my supplies and then on the day my sister and I got everything prepared to perfection! I even managed to rope my cousin in to do the actual Braaing/BBQing. He is also an ex South African so it was a genuine braai!!!

I was very lucky to have Ails (all the way from Bendigo), Brooke, Linda and Phil there. Thanks guys for being there and making my party that much more special. I even got them all to taste some "boereworse" (South African Sausage) and Millie Pap (Mashed corn stuff). I think they enjoyed themselves.

My sister made my cake. I must admit, it was a little odd seeing my face on a cake but it tasted divine!!!!

Having my sister here this weekend was awesome! She arrived on Thursday night, after missing her flight.. So we went for a very late dinner in China Town. We still managed to polish off a bottle of champagne though!

Then on Friday morning we set off on a full day shopping adventure! The only trouble is that neither of us were in the right frame of mind to shop - me stressing over my party and my sister stressing over work :) BUT we still had a good day and even managed to buy something in the last hour!

I don't know how I am going to survive winter! I have no winter clothes and I am not having any luck at all in finding any. What is with the fashions this year???

After waking up bright and early to the site of about 8 hot air balloons going past my window on Saturday morning, we tried the shopping thing again. My sister was very successful but alas, I didn't find a thing. The rest of Saturday was spent doing party prep stuff and then Saturday night was the big event.

My sister left this morning to head back to Sydney and I went to finish cleaning up at my cousins place. I hate cleaning up after a party!

So I am now feeling very tired after such a busy weekend but I am happy.

Tomorrow I will turn the big 30 and I am ready to enter into a new phase of my life :) eeeeeek

Its great having a milestone to use as an excuse to get back into eating and living healthily. I haven't been that bad but I haven't been 100% good either. After the evil shopping experience this weekend and not being able to find ANYTHING that looked and felt good, I know that I have a hell of a lot of work to do. I also have to fix up all the hard work that I managed to undo over the past few months. I want to feel happy in my body again and I will! :)

I hope you all had a great weekend too!

Yes! I am still here! I am finding it very frustrating that I can't update my blog regularly however seeing that I am still pretty much in the first week of my new job, I don't think regular blogging is on the cards ;) I'm sure you can all understand.

I am having a tougher time then I thought with the house hunting thing. It's not that there aren't any places available, its that I just don't have the time to go see any places.
Another thing is that real estate agents or letting agents over here seem to treat potential customers like criminals! Since when did wanting to rent an apartment become a crime? It has surprised me over and over again how rude and impatient these people are when I call them up to ask about flats. I can't help it if I work full time! Surely they should make SOME exceptions?

I will just have to keep trying. Hopefully on my next Saturday off I will be able to sort something out.

I have actually found the apartment that I want. The only problem is that I have to wait between 60 - 90 day before I can get it. It belongs to a cousin of mine and she currently has tenants in it. I really love the place though. We went to check it out on Monday after work (pretended to be doing an inspection). It is a bit further out of the city then I had initially wanted to live, but as soon as I walked in I felt that this is where I want to live. It's the perfect space for me and has everything I need. It is also about ten minutes from a train station and there are trams running right outside. I am going to try find a short let for the next 3 months and then I will take my cousins place :)

This weekend is my first weekend that I will be working. *sigh* I know I will get used to it but it still sucks ;) Especially when I have so much to sort out still. BUT it's all part of the job and the job got me back to Australia so I shall stop complaining right now!

I am going to fetch my bicycle on Sunday!!!! I can't wait to try it out. I think I might go for a nice long bike ride along the yarra (if thats how you spell it) or along the beach or something :) Just because I can!

I have been going out almost every night since I arrived in Melbourne. This really is a great city and there seems to be an endless supply of things to do, places to go and food to eat! Speaking of which. I have been so good with my eating. I made a pact with myself that I will only buy lunch on Fridays.(sushi day) The rest of the time I have been making sandwiches. Firstly this is much kinder on the purse and secondly, there are way too many tempting things out there to eat and I know that if I am going to be strict with myself, I have to be in control.

Ooooh!!! I discovered a gym in my building! I was in the lift the other day when a man and his little boy got in (dressed in swimming gear). I found this a bit odd seeing as I am pretty much in the middle of the city so I had to ask why they were dressed this way... It turns out that there is a free gym on the 7th floor for residends of the building! So guess what I did this morning at 6am!!! *grin* I love running!!!!!!!!!!! I just couldn't figure out how to adjust the seat on the bicycle, or how any of the other machines work.. so i'll stick to running or swimming and go for real bike rides after work. Yay!!! Endorphins rock!!

So thats about all for now. I will try and update again as soon as I can.

I'm here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After an exhausting flight, I arrived in Australia last Saturday afternoon. My first stop was Sydney where I spent two glorious days with my sister, her hubby and my beautiful nephew. We really spent some quality time together and I am so glad I decided to go there first.

On Monday morning I lugged my heavy bags all the way back to Sydney airport and boarded my plane to Melbourne. I managed to talk the lady into putting me on an earlier flight (no idea how I managed that) it was a blessing in disguise because it took two hours to clear my excess baggage from customs! If I had been on the later flight they would have closed before I could get my stuff.

My cousin was there to meet me at Melbourne airport and she drove me into the city where I met up with the HR lady from my new job. She gave me the keys to the apartment where I am staying, however we got our wires crossed and I ended up going to the wrong apartment. I couldn't understand why the keys wouldn't work and when I tried to call the HR lady, she had already gone home for the day. So I ended up staying over at my cousins place that night. The next morning I managed to sort everything out and found the right apartment :) It is stunning!!! You should see the view I have! And it has absolutely everything I could ever need. What a pity I don't get to keep it and am only there for a month. The best part of all is that it is less than a block away from work.

Last night I FINALLY got to meet two of the most amazing women! Brooke and Phil, You guys rock! It was quite a bizarre experience though. As if the photo's that I have been seeing for so long on their blogs, came alive! It was such a fun evening and I can't wait until Sunday when I will be meeting with more of the lovely Melbourne bloggers. I just want to say thanks for making me feel so welcome!

So now I need to find myself a home and stuff to put in it.

Sorry for not updating for so long. My blog posts will probably be few and far between until I can organise an internet connection. But keep popping by.

 

This is it! I no longer have a house, a car or a job!
(well.. technically I do have a job but it would make the dramaticness of this post less dramatic and we can't have that can we!)

My bags are packed (a little too much on the heavy side for my liking but lets hope the person at the check in desk isn't quite as concerned).

I've said my goodbyes to pretty much everyone. I find this the hardest part of all. I really hate goodbyes and it never gets any easier.

Now I just have to sit around the house, waiting till lunch time when I will go out with my parents and brother and then head off to the airport.

I am so ready for this!

Tomorrow I will be playing with my nephew :) Isn't that just the most exciting thing ever? hehe for me it is anyway.

Until next time... On the other side of the world :)

No, I'm not that self obsessed people! But it seriously is HOT at the moment. We seem to be in the throngs of a heat wave and I don't like it. Especially when I am driving around in my very hot (dark coloured) car which doesn't have aircon. Never mind the aircon, the fan doesn't even work properly!!! I have opened all the windows but aside from my hair resembling a somewhat badly built birds nest, it doesn't even help, at all!!! *weep*

Did you ever notice how tired you get in extremely hot weather? I don't think I've ever felt this tired. I'm sure part of it is from stress (with my impending move and all) but I am happy to put most of the blame on mother nature.

I have done most of what needed to get done before I fly out on Friday. All that's left now is for me to pack the bags that I am taking with me and sort out what comes with me and what I will send via the excess baggage place. A month ago I would never have dreamed that I'd be so organised :) It's great when you surprise yourself.

I am actually starting to feel the nerves kicking in now. About bloody time too! Being calm is one thing, but when you are me... well, its odd! Maybe I am still hungover from all the farewell parties. (that could also explain my tiredness).

I had to go to the German Embassy yesterday in Pretoria (one of our two capitol cities, about an hour from Joburg). I needed to renew my passport which is about to expire. So I went along with all the relevant papers and documents I needed I was also super efficient and brought along a set of photos. However when I arrived at the counter and handed all my stuff over to the (surprisingly friendly) lady, she noted that I have a very beautiful smile, but she wouldn't accept my photo's. Why, you ask? Well, because my smile was too big! How bizarre!!

So off I went to the photo shop that the lady recommended. (I'm sure they get a cut of all the profits). It was quite far from the Embassy so I had to get back into my sauna of a car and drive there. By the time I found my way to the place, parked and located the photo shop, I was a mess. My hair was frizz and my face a nice, blotchy shade of pink. I can honestly and unequivocally say that this was the worst passport photo I have EVER had taken. Even my dad said so :) Oh well, I only have to live with it for the next ten years!!!!!!!!!!! 

At least that's all done.

Now I am going to lie in an ice cold bath....

So, today is my last day at work :) It is such a strange feeling. Half of me is extremely excited and relieved and the other half is very sad. I've been lucky to have worked in a company where I get on with everyone but I'm sure I'll be staying in touch with most of them - Thank you technology!!!

Last night was my farewell drinks thingy... It was so much fun and I couldn't believe how many people came! A lot of people couldn't make it unfortunately because we are having a bizarre spate of power cuts around the country and most of Joburg didn't have lights or traffic lights. I'll just have to organise another one for next week ;) hehe

I was going to post some photos but my camera battery died last night and I forgot to put it on charge last night.

I was so touched yesterday. I went off to lunch and when I came back into the office there was a HUGE bunch of flowers sitting on my desk. The company gave it to me to say goodbye. I have managed to keep my emotions intact up until that point.. It just made it all feel so much more real.

But onwards and upwards!

I think I'm over the cocktail thing for a while :) At least until this throbbing in my head dies down a bit.

Anyhoo, I'm not sure how often I will post next week. I have a feeling it's going to be a bit mad. We'll see :)

For now I need to get a strong cup of coffee and a paracetamol.

Cya

DISCLAIMER:
This post does not intend to make fun of or rip off ALL blonde people. Only the ones who truly deserve it.

I forgot to mention in my last post, that I have managed to find someone to take over my flat :) (aren't I just the best tennant in the world) - yeah yeah.. (I just wanted to get my deposit back and thankfully I am).

So anyway, this lady came to look at the flat last Wednesday evening. I was in the process of packing and there were boxes strewn all over the place and the flat was in a bit of a shambles. (Don't worry, I did make it look as respectable as I could).

So, as I was saying, she walked into my flat and I couldn't help noticing that her hair was a rather light shade of blonde. Natural of course! In fact, I hardly noticed this fact, until...

Looking around the place (and clearly seeing that I was in the process of packing up MY stuff) she exclaimed... "oh, great! The place is furnished!" (this said with a huge grin on her face) - So, my landlord and I exchanged a quick glance and he kindly explained that no, the place wasn't furnished, the stuff did indeed belong to me except for one fixed unit in the far corner of the room. She then hopped into the kitchen, took a quick look around (seeing the stove, my microwave, my kettle and my toaster) and asked me if the stove belonged to me too. I don't know how it works where you guys are, but in South Africa, a stove / oven is a fixture and stays with the house/flat/apartment. So I said no, the stove isn't mine, it belongs to the flat and once again she excitedly exclaimed "Oh good! So the microwave, kettle and toaster also stay then!!!" *bounce* - Once again my landlord rescued me... OY VEY!

But wait! There's more!

In trying to encourage this lady to take my flat (so that I could get my deposit back) I attempted to be friendly in the form of some small talk. I mentioned that it was such a pity that I didn't find her before because I had just sold my fridge, couch and washing machine on the previous weekend and I happened to advertise it on the same website that she found the flat on.

wait for it..... this is good....

She once again exclaimed... "Oh wow!, Do you think they will still be there, on the site?"

This was when I really had to bite my tongue (which is still throbbing), take a deep DEEP breath and try very VERY hard not to laugh. I kindly and very S L O W L Y explained that "ahem, yes, *cough* i'm sure the advertisement is still on the site *snort*, however I  H A V E   S O L D  T H E  S T U F F."

Shame, i'm sure she is a very nice person, although the fact that she is a high school teacher does bother me a bit... BUT she has taken my flat and I am happy. One less thing to stress about.

All the small stuff is now moved and stored away at my parents place. Now all I need to do is wait for the movers to come on Monday and move the big, heavy stuff and viola! I'm done! and pretty much ready to go...

Three days left of work! *grin* - I am having farewell cocktails on Thursday night, anybody interrested in coming? ;) - I've told them to have a strawberry Daiquiri ready and waiting for me. *droooool*

So, I have kind of moved back into my parents house as of this weekend. It is so odd to be back but kind of nice at the same time.

I've mostly packed up, cleaned up and am ready for the moving van to schlep my stuff from my flat to my parents house (where I'm going to try store everything). I've even said goodbye to my evil pigeons (yes, they came back and knocked all my pigeon proofing off the window sill). I won't be sad to see the last of them I can tell you.

But being back in the parents house has its ups and downs.

I had forgotten about this!

AKA, the common mosquito!
AKA, evil bastard from the nether world!
AKA, F(*£$^k off you stupid bloody thing!!!!!

I really do love nature. I love animals. But I do NOT and will NEVER love mosquitos!!! They force me to pump evil smelling poison into the air to try and eradicate them. Inevitably this poison doesn't work.. It just makes me feel sick. But other than cooking myself to death under my blankets, I have no choice.

Last night was boiling hot!! It was definitely the kind of night where blankets were abandoned and sleep was hard to find. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours and finally fell into a troubled sleep sometime after midnight. Then the dreams came and in this dream I was being attacked by a swarm of mosquitos. However this dream turned to reality when I managed to pry my eyes open and switch on the lights. Okay, it wasn't quite a swarm of mosquitos... only one.. but one is enough!!! I then had to dig around in my brothers old room to try and find his mosquito pad thingy magig and then I had to find the poisonous pads to place onto the machine and THEN I had to remember where all the plug points were.... By this stage (and at the lovely hour of 2am) I was wide awake. hmpf!

Yes, living at my parents house does have its ups and downs.... I think in the 10 months that I lived in this last flat, I had ONE mosquito. Yes, ONE!!! (or else they were stealth mosquitos and managed to do their thing quietly).

Being a light sleeper is really not a perk.

At least I get home cooked meals and my washing done for me :) There are some good points to this story...

I have had the most busy, hectic, insane weekend EVER!!!! It was fun though :) I woke up at 5am on Saturday morning (the Evil pigeons woke me up - I was still in my flat), So instead of pretending to sleep, I got up and started packing.I then went to a bridal shower on Saturday afternoon and straight to a 30th birthday on Saturday night. Yesterday morning I had a 25th birthday breakfast, I then met a friend of mine for lunch and went off to the flea market for a while. Then in the afternoon I had to go to a farewell tea thingy for my cousin who is here from the States. And straight after that I went off to another friend for dinner!!! I just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!!!!! But yes, it is fun being busy!

Pity I have to work this whole week still.

So this is the plan. I will arrive in Sydney on the 27th. Visit with my sister, her hubby and my gorgeous nephew for almost two days (not nearly enough but better than nothing) and then head off to start my new life in Melbourne on the 29th. I hope that between the 27th and 31st I will be able to de-jet lag myself enough for work on the 1st.

AND I am hoping to find myself a gym or a bike within the first week or two that I am in Melbourne. I am determined to start my new life on the right track and get my lazy ass back into a routine straight away.
It's not often that one gets to start their life again so I have to take full advantage of that :)

I had intended to pack up all my clothes and the rest of the "little" stuff last night. I had even enlisted the help of my entire family but I was so exhausted after a rather stressful day yesterday that I didn't pack a thing! Oh well :) I still have a week or so... PLENTY time... eeek

I ended up selling both my car and my bike yesterday (the first bike sale fell through...), it kind of feels like I am selling my life at the moment.. very odd if I do say so myself.

A nice, short and sweet post today :)

I feel terrible and sick and evil :(

I was on my way to work this morning when a cat ran out in front of my car. I didn't have time to swerve, stop or do anything *weep* I slammed on brakes but it was too late. I could see the poor little thing twitching in agony in my review mirror. I got out to see if there was ANYTHING I could do but it was already too late. I don't think I've ever felt this horrible. I've killed something :(

I wanted to take it to the vet but it was too late. I guess if there is a good thing to this (which there isn't) it was that the cat was obviously a stray and didn't belong to anyone. At least there isn't a little kid out there pining for their pet. But still.. I know it was out of my control sigh.. its just a horrible thing to see / do.

Please all send a little prayer out for the poor cat.

I had such a happy post to write this morning and then this happened... but I'll still tell you my news. I had my meeting on Monday with my new bosses and it went very well. It was very relaxed and positive and I can't wait to start now.

On Tuesday I went to pick up my passport WITH my visa in it and yesterday my flight was confirmed. This is all real guys!!!!

I had someone come and look at my flat last night. I know I am just renting it and am not responsible for finding a replacement, but if I don't get someone to replace me, I don't get my deposit back. (I am leaving before my lease is up) So hold thumbs ;)

I have a hell of a busy weekend ahead of me. I've got a 1st birthday party, a Bridal shower and a 30th all on Saturday. Then on Sunday I am hoping to pack up the rest of my flat, move in with my parents (should be fun) and then see my cousin who is here from The States. *yawn* I am tired just thinking about it.

And then there is my current job... I have 7 working days left here and they are piling the work on top of me. Everyone wants everything done before I go and I don't know where to start. Oh well.. 7 days... and yes, I am counting :)

So aside from the incident this morning, things seem to be coming along nicely. How is everyone else in blog land doing?

I am officially fridgeless, couchless, washing machineless... I managed to sell AND get rid of all three items on the same day. It does kind of put me in a slight pickle though seeing as I now can't keep any food in my house. Luckily I thought to bring some cereal with me to work today as there is plenty of milk, cutlery and crockery available and I need my breakfast!

My kitchen is packed up and almost totally cleared out. My dining room chairs have been dismantled and stored. Most of my lounge has been packed away, ready to be moved to my parents house. So basically my house looks quite bleak and depressing at the moment :) I know I am moving on to bigger and better things, but still. I really do love my flat and I had finally managed to get everything I wanted for my flat.

But change is good!

All I have left now is to sort through my clothes and bedroom stuff. I think that will be quite easy and painless. The big stuff is done and that was most important.

I am definitely on an emotional roller coaster at the moment. I guess that's normal. I go from being very excited and bouncy to being very sad and bursting into tears. This is seriously one of the hardest things I've had to do but I know it is going to be good. All I can say is thank heavens for technology :)

I am going to try and get some kind of broadband set up as soon as I arrive. It probably would be best to find a place to live and then get the broadband but I'll see what I can come up with. My family here have skype and at least I will get to "see" them as often as I want and chat to them regularly.

My weight has gone insane :( I really am trying so hard to stay on track but I stepped on the scale this morning and got the fright of my life! I am trying not to let it get to me. But the fact is that all my clothes are feeling a little tighter and I can see my body getting more flabby. I am still gymming (although not as regularly as I should be). I figure that packing and lifting boxes and stuff is pretty good exercise too :) But not good enough - I know!!! I am going to make a conscious effort to eat VERY well over the next three weeks. I can't let the stress of the move affect my weight and undo all my hard work. No chance! (now, if only I can take that attitude to the dinner table with me every day) :)

I wish someone would invent a little chip that can be inserted into ones brain that sends a bold of electricity through the body whenever one thinks of binging or chocolate or other such stuff. Wouldn't that be good!!!

So, I have ten days left at my current job!!! TEN!!! yay!!!

I am meeting with my new boss today (who happens to be in South Africa), I am quite excited but nervous at the same time. I have no idea what the meeting will be about but I have lots of questions to ask them and I am about to write a list to take along with me.

I hope all your Monday's are good ones.

It kind of hit me this morning that I have a hell of a lot to do before I leave for Australia. Since that "revelation" I have had heart burn of note and my heart rate seems to be going way over the speed limit. sigh..

I started advertising my stuff yesterday and have had a great response. I am not selling all my furniture, just the things that are easily replaceable. It will make much more sense for me to sell my things here and buy new ones (or used ones) when I get to Australia. Unfortunately shipping is not an option. Unless I happen to win the lotto between now and the end of Jan.

I have been trying to get back on track health / weight wise. I really fell off the wagon badly over December and I put on a fair amount of weight. But I had a good time and I don't regret it. So what, its only a couple more kg's on top of the total amount that I still want to lose. No prob! ;)

I have sold my bicycle. I wanted to bring it over with me, but the airline said that the weight of the bicycle is part of the measly 20kg allowance that they give you. That means that half my baggage will be my bicycle!!! They then want to charge a ridiculous amount of money for excess baggage. sigh. SO I decided that the best thing to do was to sell it and I will be looking for a new one as soon as I get to Melbourne. If anyone has any advice or knows of a good place to buy a bike from please let me know :) I am thinking of getting a hybrid bike this time. My current bike is a racing bicycle. I love it but I think that a hybrid would be a lot more versatile.

I am dedicating this weekend to packing up my whole flat. I am sure I will be able to do it all in one weekend. My parents and brothers are coming to help and I know that once I get that out of the way, I will feel a lot less stressed.

So yeah.. that's about it for today :)

Another year is upon us and if the start of it is anything to go by, this is definitely going to be a fantastic year all round.

I left London on New Years Eve. It was so hard saying goodbye to nj. I hate goodbyes and knowing that there are going to be a lot more of those coming up made it even harder. I really had a great time and getting to actually see and be part of one of my best friends lives for a whole week was so special. I really wish I could make time stand still sometimes. But at least I can look forward to seeing him again soon ;) I have no idea when.. but I'm sure it will be soon!

The flight was pretty good (for British Airways standards) and I even managed to get some sleep!! Having two seats to myself did help of course ;) I was actually surprised at how full the flight was. I didn't think many people would want to fly on New Years Eve but they probably all thought on the same lines as me :) It wasn't THAT full a flight, but a lot busier then I had anticipated.

The only down side was that they didn't even acknowledge that it was the New Year! I even called the air steward to ask if she was going to announce it (at 12:05am South African time) and she wasn't even aware that it was already 2007 ;) She told me that they didn't want to make an announcement incase they woke people up. How sad!!! So I had a little toast with the guy sitting in my row (with water of all things) and that was the extent of my New Years eve celebrations :)

I can't believe how emotional I was when I landed in South Africa. I know it has everything to do with me leaving again in less than a month. But wow! I think I am going to have to invest in a few boxes of tissues.

In the last two or so weeks I have had so much good news! Firstly 3 of my very good friends are pregnant. One of them has been trying and battling for the last two years. Then on Saturday night I caught up with another friend of mine in the UK and she happened to be wearing a very shiny, sparkly ring on her finger :) They have FINALLY gotten engaged! And then there is the fact that my dream is coming true and I am about to start my new life in Aus. 

Isn't that the most awesome way to start 2007!!!

So, yesterday reminded me why I chose not to live in the UK and I am pleased to say that I am totally happy with that decision :)

It was actually a lovely day. NJ, his friend Jason (who had arrived the day before from the States) and I got dropped off at the train station in Petersfield bright and early. We bought our train tickets and wondered around the town looking for a place to have breakfast. (It is cheaper to travel after 9am on a week day so we had to waste some time). The only place open for breakfast was this horrible little coffee shop called Cafe Nero... It served its purpose though I guess :)

Then at 9am we hopped on a train bound for London!!!

My main intention for going into London was to:
a) SHOP
b) see some of the places I used to visit so often when I lived there
c) Shop!!!

I don't know if it was the cold rain, or the fact that I stupidly wore my brand new boots (Note: to anyone visiting London... wear comfy shoes!!!!). But I couldn't find one thing to buy!!! I really did try. We hit Oxford St with a vengeance and I had my bargain seeking sensors turned on... but alas! I left there empty handed. I'm sure it was the shoes!!  

Can you visualize just how cold it is???

We went to have lunch at Pizza Express (YUM!!!) and then went to have desert at Haagen Dazs (I only had one scoop of ice cream, I promise) and then, after another mini unsuccessful shopping expedition we met up with Jamie and went to see a wonderful play called Love Song.

We even had front row seats!!! Which was great because those theatre seats were the most uncomfortable seats I've ever sat in... At least we could stretch our legs :) I highly recommend this show to anyone visiting London in the near future (or already living there). All the actors were well known and it was just a clever and funny show.

So that was my day in a nut shell :)

I can't believe I go back home tomorrow already :( sigh

So, after an 11 hour flight I finally made it to the UK. I landed bright and early on Saturday morning and nj was there to meet me :) Poor guy had to wake up before 5am so that he could be there on time.

I can't begin to tell you how nice it is to see nj again. It feels like the 4 year gap since I last saw him never happened. Yes, I do speak to him almost every day online, but seeing him in the flesh again is awesome. I am already dreading saying goodbye next week. But I'm sure that we will see eachother again soon.

It is FREEEEEEEZING cold here! It is quite a shock to the system to go from a 28 degree (centigrade) day, to a 2 degree day. But to be honest, I am actually enjoying it and it makes the novelty of being in another country much more real. I definitely didn't bring enough warm clothes with me but it is boxing day today and we are off to hit the sales with a vengeance!!! *grin* I can't wait! I just hope I actually manage to find stuff :) I am going to need a whole new wardrobe for my new job. I have to dress smart. No more jeans and T-shirts :( *sniff* I think it will be a good thing though. I like dressing up for things.

I am so excited! I FINALLY got to "meet" kyra online yesterday. We hooked up our web cams and actually got to speak to and see eachother. It was so much fun! I can't wait to chat again :) It is so strange to finally hear someone's voice, after chatting to them for so long on a chat program. It is so good to be in a country with a decent broadband connection. I am going to have to set mine up as soon as I get to Australia. Being able to physically talk to and see friends and family online is a life saver :) Don't you just LOVE technology!!!!!!!!!

If anyone else out there has skype or msn and wants to "meet" me :) please email me ASAP.

Yesterday we drove two hours to Datchworth in Hertfordshire to have Xmas lunch with nj's sister. I finally got to meet her and her family. We had a really lovely day with them. The house was full to the brim with people. I think there were something like 12 kids! It was noisy and boisterous and I enjoyed every minute. The wine was flowing and the turkey that nj's sister made for lunch was divine. I certainly did a good job of stuffing myself :) I have some photos but once again I am being disorganized and haven't prepped any to post online. But I will get some up soon. Watch this space.

I only have one complaint about my holiday. I can't sleep late!!!!!!! I know that I am two hours behind South Africa, but still! I'm on holiday!!!!!!!!!! I am up at 6am every day and it is pitch dark (can't even blame the birds). I guess I should be happy that I get time to type up a blog entry :) And chat to my parents... And watch a DVD... hehe I would go for a jog BUT I think my chances of getting frost bite are strong. So I'll just sit here, in the nice warm house and catch up with all of you :) There is always something good in every situation!

I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday. And that Santa was generous.

So, today is my 1 year blogging anniversary! I seriously can't believe I have been bloggin for a whole year! Where has the time gone?

I have some VERY VERY VERY big news to tell you all. Up until yesterday I was keeping it quiet until I knew for sure. But now it's all in the open and I can happily share with you.

As most of you will probably know, it has been a dream of mine for a very long time to be able to live in Australia. I even managed to get over there on a working holiday visa for a whole year. But after going to many different immigration lawyers and trying to find sponsorship of any kind I had to give up and come back home.

I still tried for a while to get into Australia but it just wasn't meant to be.

So, after living back here for over two years, I finally accepted that this is where I will be living forever and I was actually happy with that. I completely accepted the fact that Aus was just going to be a holiday destination for the rest of my life, and I would only get to see my sister and nephew every couple of years and on Skype once a week.

BUT THEN, a few weeks ago I was approached by a recruiting company in South Africa, who had acquired my number through a friend of mine. They were looking for someone in my industry who was interested in working in Melbourne. I honestly didn't think I had a chance, but I sent off my CV anyway.

A few days later I got a call to say that the head of marketing was coming to SA for a few days and wanted to interview me. I very quickly got a portfolio together (in one day) and off I went to the interview. The whole process took no longer than 15 minutes.. It was one of the oddest interviews I had ever been to. I left there feeling that it just wasn't meant to be.

BUT a week later I got another phone call to say that the Aus company wanted to do a 2nd interview on the phone. Which happened at 6am the next day at my house.

I didn't hear from them for about two weeks after that. So I took it as a sign that it wasn't going to happen.

BUT after one more phone interview, they made me an offer!!!!

And OF COURSE I accepted!!!! *grin*

So the last part of the process was to apply for the Visa. Lucky for me, this all happened when my family were here from Australia and they were able to take the necessary forms back with them. (which really sped things up a lot)

From then on it was another waiting game and finally yesterday I got notification that my Visa was granted.

I AM GOING TO BE LIVING IN AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I should be there by the 1st of Feb the latest :) *bounce*

I still can't believe this is actually happening.

I am so excited but at the same time I am so scared. I am going to be uprooting my entire life in less than one month. I don't know if I've made the right decision, but fate seemed to be playing a big role in this and I think that it is where I am meant to be.

I don't think I have felt this emotional for a long time. I don't know if I'm happy, sad, scared, excited or what! And no! the PMS is over for this month.

All I know is that things like this don't normally just happen. The universe is telling me something and I have to listen.

So, here I go, into 2007 with a brand, spanking new fresh start, in a brand spanking new city, in a brand spanking new country. (With a brand, spanking new blog).

I hope that you will all be sharing my new adventures with me and I hope to be able to continue sharing your lives with you.

I'd also LOVE to finally meet all you Melbourne bloggers when im there :) Maybe we can arrange a little meet? Please let me know if you are keen and please spread the word!!! It will be some time in mid February I think. I'm open to any ideas.

I'm not sure how often I will be blogging from the UK, but if I don't get a chance, let me wish you all a VERY merry Xmas and a HAPPY new year!!!

So, carrying on with the theme from last week. This week is my one year blog anniversary week :)

First let me just tell you my exciting news :) (its probably not THAT exciting, but for me it is).

I WENT TO GYM TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually got up and went! *grin*

I can't even begin to describe to you how happy I feel right now. All I did this morning was cardio, but I managed to build up quite a sweat. I feel more awake today then I have felt for a very long time.  Why on earth do we let ourselves get into slumps? I honestly feel amazing during and especially after a workout, so why do I convince myself that it is such an effort?

Well the following photographs should convince me and maybe you EXACTLY why I enjoy my new lifestyle!

 

*grin*

I was looking at my old photographs over the weekend and I couldn't believe that I let myself get like that. I was a totally different person back then. I think the middle photograph is me at my biggest, just before I got my head right and started on my healthy lifestyle. What gets to me most is what horrible clothes I wore. I lived in huge big ugly T-shirts (mostly men's). As you can see, I even used to go to the beach in T-shirts and long pants... What kind of a life is that???

Even my smile is different!!! You can actually see it ;) hehe

I'm so glad I looked at these photos (and believe me there are some scary ones) because it made me realize how far I have actually come. How much better I am in so many different ways.

Yes, I did put on 4kg's over the last couple of months BUT I am human. I am allowed to slip up every now and then.

The good thing about being human is that when we fall, we can always get back up and start again!

I feel all revved up and ready to go!

In exactly a week it will be my 1 year blog anniversary!!! I was going to wait till then (21st Dec) to update the look of my blog and write this post but after redesigning my blog yesterday and seeing how bland and boring my old one was I just couldn't wait!

Welcome to my new look! I also got rid of the Bee's Bulge title because I really didn't like it anymore... :) I hope you are as happy as I am with the new, "warmer" blog.

I am feeling extremely fragile this morning. It was a friend of mines wedding last night and I got on rather well with a bottle of whisky... Why did they put the bottle infront of me?  *shake*

I have demolished a bottle of water already and I have plenty waiting in line. I think what I really need is a jar of paracetamol!

I was going to post some photos from the wedding but unfortunately I can't figure out how to get the photos off my new camera (without having  a card reader handy). I am working on it and will hopefully have some photos up shortly.

I got so many awesome comments about how nice I looked last night :) I really love it when people take the time to let you know that they actually notice you. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside...

Oy, I think some of that whisky might still be in the old blood stream... *hickup*

So I will love you and leave you with the new Bee's Buzzing Brain!

And a quick thank you to all of you for being around :) I love you guys!!!

*hickup* *shake*

So, last night I had to help my brother sort out some photography work that we had done a while ago. I made sure that I came home early so that I could go to bed early and wake up in time for gym this morning.

I set my alarm for 4:40am (which is my normal waking up for gym time) and I read one chapter of my book (I HAVE to read before I go to sleep) and turned the lights off just before 9:30pm... All ready for my new start today.

Or so I thought...

My mind started racing and I ended up tossing and turning till the wee hours of this morning (or so it felt) and I ended up resetting my alarm and not going to gym AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh. I am so pissed off with myself. I am even not speaking to myself today because of it.

OK.. I'm not really that strange ;)

I know I have a hell of a lot on my mind at the moment but sheesh! What is going on with me???? I am also at my heaviest weight that I have been for a LONG time *weep*

As you can see, I have removed my SW, CW and GW from the left hand bar. They were really annoying me.

I have to get back into gear. I have started with my food intake. But I just wish I could snap out of whatever it is I'm in and go back to gym!!! I know that the exercise will help me deal with stress BIG TIME!! And yet I just can't get there.

I WILL BE AT GYM TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!

hmpf. *stomp*

Okay right.. all that is now off my chest. whew.

The streets around my office are in turmoil (somewhat like my mind). They have decided to build an underground train from the airport to various parts of Johannesburg and they have elected to start here. This means that they have now turned most of the roads into one ways and have basically re-routed EVERYTHING!!! It is most annoying. Yesterday people were stuck in traffic for hours. It took my one friend over an hour to get around one block!!! What is with this stupid municipality? Why can't they leave things as they are, seeing as they have worked for decades! Rather they choose to change things and make our lives miserable for three or more years.

I have a sneaky suspicion that I may be suffering from PMS today.... must check the diary...

At least I'm not craving chocolate ..... yet

Is it just me, or has this year flown by faster then a tornado through the streets of London? I can't actually believe it's almost 2007!!! What on earth happened to 2006?

After starting off this weekend with absolutely nothing to do, I ended up having one of the busiest weekends ever! Now I am regretting it. I need one day to just chill. But as soon as I get some chill time, I get bored and end up being busy. hmpf.

I seem to also be in some kind of self sabotage mode. I have a new stomach growing on my stomach and I just don't like it one bit! I always seem to come up with some kind of excuse. Where on earth do I get them all from? I am not fooling myself but at the same time I am.

Wow, this post makes so much sense doesn't it! :)

Basically I seem to be in a strange place right now with regards to my eating and exercise. I don't know where all my self control and discipline have gone but if anyone finds them, please return them to me ASAP! I miss them both terribly. We used to work so well together.

*wipes eyes with a tissue*

I think it has something to do with the fact that it is December. The month of December effects most people in truly bizarre ways. Do you get December Syndrome?

So anyway, that's enough rambling for today.

*the crowd cheers*

I hope you are feeling more awake then I am.

I come from one of the most colourful and beautiful places on earth, it also happens to be one of the most dangerous and poverty stricken cities in the world. Every day I encounter homeless, desperate people. Often, when I am driving around I see people begging at traffic lights (with their kids playing precariously on the traffic island) or rummaging through rubbish bins. It's really hard to see but you can't help everyone and you have to learn to switch off and harden yourself to it to a certain degree. You have to!

You also have to be very much on your guard all the time. That seemingly harmless beggar standing at the stop street may just be a hijacker. That smart looking lady in the business suit with a clip board and questionnaire may well be a con artist. You just can't tell.

So last night I was out with my friend for dinner. We were in quite an upmarket part of town, with loads of shops and restaurants. After dinner we decided to stroll around and do a bit of window shopping. We were busy admiring one of the nicer (more expensive) window displays when a guy approached us. He looked fairly harmless but I was instantly on guard.

The guy looked very hassled and upset and told us a very jumbled story about how he came all the way from Natal (an area about 6 hours away from Joburg) to write his university exam in Pretoria (about an hour away from Joburg in the other direction) and how he didn't bring enough money with him to get back home. His eyes were darting all over the place and I don't think he made eye contact once. This was very off putting but made me think that he was being genuine and wasn't used to begging. If he was a con artist, I'm sure that he would have made eye contact and been a lot more sure of himself. So, either he was a VERY good actor and could make himself cry on demand or this was a genuine story.

I just stood back listening to his story, while my friend asked him a few more questions. She gave him some money (not enough to get back home, but it was still a lot of money). He burst into tears as she handed it to him, he couldn't even speak. This convinced me that he was NOT someone who was trying to con us. No way. However, you have to be very careful and I didn't want to open my bag and pull out my wallet in front of him just incase. So after thanking us very humbly, he went on his way. I couldn't just let him go without giving him some money too so I quickly took out some more money, called him back and gave it to him. This made him burst into tears all over again. I wish we could have given him the whole amount but I know that what we did give him was a big help and I just hope he gets home safely.

It really put a damper on our evening. It made me think that all my troubles are so trivial. So what if I put on 3 bloody kg's over the last month. So what if my car stalls every time I put my foot on the clutch! (at least it still goes..kind of... and at least I have a car!!!).

I am so sensitive to things like this and it really upsets me. It's not easy to block everything out all the time.

I also realized last night just how little trust I have in people. I instantly thought the guy from last night was a con man. I have been burnt a few times while trying to help seemingly desperate people but not EVERYONE is out there to get me. There are real people, with real problems. I have to try and be more open minded and to LISTEN!

This was a big lesson for me.

So, life is somewhat back to normal after all the festivities of the wedding and overseas visitors.

My flat feels very empty but at the same time, it's good to have it back to myself.

I am feeling a bit flat too. I think all the excitement of the last few weeks, and the fact that I was continuously running on adrenalin and lack of sleep hasn't helped either.

Also, my grandmother is in hospital with pneumonia and we heard yesterday that she has a clot on her lung. They say that she is doing well though. She is a very frail lady and I worry so much about her. She also has Alzheimer and that makes things so much worse.

On Saturday, when she was admitted to the hospital, she couldn't find her house keys anywhere. My uncle searched for them but he couldn't find them either so he just closed up her flat and took her to the hospital. In the meantime, someone discovered that it was open and all her jewellery has been stolen :( I feel so bad for her. She really doesn't have much left in the world and she was so proud of her jewellery. I feel so depressed about it all.

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a depressing post, I think I've just hit a low after being on such a high for so long. I am allowed to feel like this once in a while :) Don't worry, it won't be forever.

Just scrolling down and looking at the photos of my nephew and the wedding do help to cheer me up! *scroll* aah, much better! *scroll* :)

I have decided to spend this weekend going through all the cupboards in my old bedroom at my parents house. I have been living on my own for a few years now and yet I have left those cupboards full of all my stuff. My poor mom has been begging me for ages to sort it out so that she can use the space hehe. So this weekend I'll do it! I know its going to be hard. I am a hoarder of note (and used to be far worse when I was younger). But I have decided to be ruthless. What's the point of hanging on to that painting I did in primary school? It just gathers dust and fish moths and had gone yellow... I am also donating all my old fluffy toys etc to charity. Some child out there will benefit far more from those toys then the dusty cupboard. Wish me luck!!! *scroll*

I also have some very exciting news!!! *grin*

In precisely 18 sleeps time I will be in the UK!!! I made a very un-Belinda like move and spontaneously booked a ticket to visit nj the UK over Xmas. (he had a LOT to do with that spontaneity) *huge grin* I haven't seen him for over 4 years!!!! Its madness!!! He is my best friend and we talk virtually every single day but seeing someone in the flesh is so much nicer. I haven't been back to the UK for years!!! I can't wait!! *bounce* So if anyone is in the vicinity between the 24th Dec and the 31st, I'd love to meet up!!! And a BIG thanks to nj for helping me to make this happen. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes, I've said that already but its true)

I made up my mind to go back to gym today... but I over slept :( I think I need the sleep though so I'm not going to be angry with myself just yet. I'm sure that by next week I will be back in my old routine and melting those extra kg's away.

I hope you all have a great day! Do something spontaneous! Its fun!

After the most incredible three weeks, it is good to be back. I had such an awesome time but it has been exhausting.

First we had my nephew's first birthday which he shared with my dad.

We had a little party for them which really was fun! Even though it was pouring with rain.

  

I think he enjoyed his party :) Especially his gifts!!!

My 3 cousins came all the way from Melbourne for the wedding, so we took them to the game park.

Where we saw some very interesting stuff!!!

The next day we went to the Lion park where we got to play with lion cubs. They are sooo sweet but their claws are very sharp!

My brothers wedding was seriously the best wedding I've ever been to. I completely let loose and had so much fun! It seemed to go on forever though.

 It all started on the Wednesday night before the wedding with my sister inlaw's bridal shower.

My brother calls his wife Pigg and she calls him Phrogg (Kermit and Miss Piggy), so naturally I HAD to dress her as Miss Piggy for the shower :) Looks good huh!

To be honest, the whole evening went by in a blur. I find it quite stressful to organize something like this but it went off with a bang and EVERYONE enjoyed themselves.

Someone told me that I should organize bridal showers professionally. hehe NO CHANCE!

The following night was my brothers Bachelor party. And naturally we dressed him as Kermit :)

The guys all went go-carting. It was a pretty tame evening and no one got hurt :)

I think this is going to be more of a picture blog then a writing blog because there is just too much to tell you about :) 

 

The first one is of me and my nephew. He seriously is the most gorgeous little boy in the world. AND he actually took his first steps while he was in South Africa!!! He isn't walking properly just yet but it was a HUGE milestone and I am so glad that my parents were with him when it happened. The next one is of me with my siblings :) It was so good for us all to be together. The last one is of me and my sister in our bridal party gear :)

 

This next one is of the bride walking down the isle with her parents and entourage (that's me) :), Then we have one of the happy couple just after they have been married (can you spot me?). The third one is of all the girls in the bridal party, I must say, the colours really did work well.

So now its back to work and to my normal life. I am sad but happy at the same time. I managed to put on 3kg's over the 3 weeks.. I thought I'd have put on more hehe So I'm back to being super super strict with my eating. I will be back at gym tomorrow too. I did manage to go three times over the past 3 weeks :) Not bad huh...

I'm sorry I haven't posted for so long but as you can see, it has been a busy time. I can't wait to catch up with your blogs and see what has been going on in your lives.

I have the most beautiful nephew in the world :) Definitely and without a doubt! I can't believe how big he is!!! I picked him up and was shocked at how heavy he has gotten too :)

But the poor thing was so exhausted and disorientated that I only got to see him for a little while before my sister put him to bed. I did manage to get a big smile out of him though! That made my day.

It is so nice to have my whole family together again. And best of all is that today is my parents 35th wedding anniversary! We all get to celebrate it together!!!!!!!  Pity I have to work all day though. BUT from tomorrow I am on leave and I can spend as much time with my nephew as I want! (when he isn't sleeping).

I am dosing up on all the immune boosting, cold fighting, virus killing stuff that I can find. But I have a feeling that I might be visiting the doctor today. Hmpf! I feel a lot better today then yesterday but my cough is much worse. I will get better fast!!! I will get to try out my brand new ugly running shoes!!! I willllllllllllll

As I said in yesterdays post, I probably won't be blogging very regularly in the next two weeks but I will be back! I will hopefully be able to put some photos up too.

Be good and be strong and stay focused!!!!

I went on Saturday to get myself fitted for a brand, shiny new pair of running shoes. I tried on a few different makes and ended up with a pair of asics. I had to get a men's shoe, because my foot is only slightly too long and wide for a ladies shoe :( but they are super comfortable so I am happy. I just wish they were a nicer colour ;) (Gold and silver just doesn't do it for me). I'll just have to run lots and get them dirty quickly.

I tried to find a picture of my new shoes but alas, no luck... Maybe they are too ugly to put on the website...

They cost me a small fortune but I'm happy to spend a lot on decent shoes and avoid injury, then have to come up with a lot of money if I wear the wrong shoes and get hurt.

I woke up yesterday morning with that tight chested feeling AGAIN.
I still managed to go for a bike ride in the morning (only 25km) but as the day progressed, so did my sore chest. Last night I was feeling really bad so I went to bed VERY early and woke up feeling even worse today :(

Please can someone tell me what the hell is going on with me??

I just hope that whatever I have isn't contagious because my nephew arrives today and I can't not smother him with hugs and kisses... Aint gonna happen!! I have been saving all my hugs and kisses for months now.

I can't believe they arrive today!!! *grin* *bounce* I am actually going to see my sister, brother inlaw and nephew tonight!!!!!! woooooohoooooo

And on that note, I am going to be on holiday from Wednesday. I don't think I will be posting all that much while I am away but I will be back. I will try stick a few photos up every now and then but no promises :)

The wedding is now in less than 2 weeks!!! I can't believe it. Time seems to be running away all of a sudden. It is all very exciting though.

Hope you are all having a great day.

I just went to check out the Guinness World Record - Longest bra chain (in aid of Brest Cancer Awareness) handover.

Our company arranged to do a small collection of bra's for the event so we went to deliver them.

Apparently the existing record for the most bra's collected is just under 115000 (Cyprus), South Africa is aiming to beat that record :)

Judging from the amount of bra's in the ambulance behind me, I think we are well on our way!!!

Please excuse the poor quality of the photo, it was taken on my cell phone and the sun was very bright. My forehead isn't really that big ;)

I feel privileged to have had a teeny part in this record attempt. All the bra's that have been donated will be distributed amongst people in rural communities who can't afford food, let alone bra's.

The money is going towards breast cancer awareness.

I don't feel like talking about food or exercise today :) I have nothing to report..

Just want to say congrats to nj on becoming a grandpa :) Well, kind of... His cat had her first litter of kittens last night. Check out his catcam to see the kittens. They might not be home from the vet yet but they will definitely be back today.

You know you are getting old when you go out for dinner, have a couple of glasses of red wine and wake up the next morning feeling like your insides have been bludgeoned.

Yes well I KNOW I can't handle my alcohol like I used to and yet somewhere at the back of my mind I think I still can. WHY???

I guess its the same with food. I KNOW I don't want to eat those last two chocolate coated Tim tams... and yet I just can't help myself. But no longer then five minutes later I feel green. Sick from guilt AND from the richness of the biscuits.

BAD ME!!!

Yeah, I'm not really that bad. Just human and VERY hungover.

I went to a lovely Greek restaurant last night for my end of year pottery class dinner. I was the third person to arrive (yeah, I did pat myself on the back for not being the first *grin*) and so I ordered a bottle of red wine, thinking that others would join me in drinking it. I think that only one other person had a glass and I demolished the rest.

It was a good wine!!!!!

Now I am having a good wine :) teehee

Needless to say, I didn't get to the gym this morning. I am hoping that by drinking enough water today I will have flushed all the evil alcohol out of my system and will find the energy and will to go for a jog this evening. Here's hoping ;)

Does anyone else out there have a thing with Garlic? I used to love the stuff but I think I must have offended it somehow because it really doesn't like me. Going to a Greek restaurant is like walking into a garlic field. I truly feel very very sorry for everyone around me today :) I don't think all the tooth brushing or mouth washing can help. At least I can be sure that no one will invade my personal space today.

Argh, I have such a mission ahead of me today. I left my car with my dad on Monday so that he could take it to the mechanic to get fixed. The mechanic told my dad that he knew what was wrong with it and if he were to buy the part that needs fixing it will cost me a fortune.
So he kindly explained to my dad how to fix the broken part and didn't charge!!! Have you ever? A decent mechanic???
So anyway, my dad very kindly starts fixing my car but soon after he starts he gets a phone call and has to rush off somewhere. HOWEVER he had put my bunch of keys 'safely' on top of his car and kind of forgot about them.

He drove off with my keys and they didn't enjoy the ride so they jumped off the car, never to be seen again.

Lucky for me my insurance will cover the cost of replacing the key, remote etc.... Can you believe how expensive car keys are these days??? I know it isn't a normal key. It is one of those odd shaped ones with a transponder in it (whatever that may be) - but still!!!! MAD I tell you!!!

Brrrrrr Winter seems to have returned. It is quite bizarre.. Yesterday was so hot that I didn't know where to put myself. I thought I was going to combust! But this morning I woke up to an overcast sky and very chilly weather. I guess I should enjoy it while I can :)

I had a VERY busy weekend. I think I need a weekend after my weekend.

It started with me waking up at the lovely hour of 7am on Saturday morning (I wonder if I'll ever be able to sleep late). So I figured that I'd use the time and head to the gym. WOW what a workout!!! I was at the gym for an hour and a quarter in total and I managed to get 20 minutes of running, cycling and then loads of upper body toning in.. *grin* Running on the treadmill is definitely different to running in the street.

I left there feeling AMAZING!!!

From there I went home to do some washing, have a shower etc. Then I went to get some groceries and went underwear shopping with my mom. I managed to go back home for about half an hour and then my dad came to fetch me. I sometimes help him at weddings (he is a wedding videographer). I forgot how bored I get at weddings though :) (not all of them). But at least there were a hell of a lot of interesting people to watch. Oh and I must tell you how utterly proud of myself I am. I was craving chocolate at the wedding (I think its quite a normal thing to happen) and so I went and got myself some chocolate pudding, and another chocolate cake type thingy from the dessert buffet. I took one bite and decided that both desserts were far too rich for me and I'd rather have a skinny cappuccino!!! Go me!!!! The old bee definitely would have demolished everything on my plate AND gone back for more. I love how much I have changed!!! LOVE IT!!!

Then on Sunday morning I woke up very early again and decided that instead of going to gym again, I would give my apartment a much needed spring clean. You definitely do get a good workout from cleaning :) From there I went to help my brother and his fiance move ALL their engagement prezzies and other things to his new apartment. (you won't believe how much stuff they have!!! I definitely need to find someone to marry) I did so much lifting and carrying and running around that I'm sure I've done my quota of exercise for the next week.

So now I am tired!!!!! And its Monday morning!!!! argh!!!!

I know that this post has absolutely no structure, but hey, I'm sure you will forgive me :)

Oooh btw, with much needed advice from the lovely Beki I have decided to get myself a decent pair of running shoes. I have to wait until next pay day, but I am going to get them as soon as I can. I know that mine are okay but they aren't right. I don't want to be injured before I have even started running. I will keep you posted.

I ordered a decaf cappuccino. It was a bit strong but drinkable. (What I really wanted though, was a double Jamison's on the rocks.) The decor was interesting. They had chosen a black and orange colour scheme with an industrial chic feel. There weren't many people in the place but that suited me just fine.

I am a firm believer that if two people are right for eachother, there has to be even a teeny tiny little spark of something! Last night there was nothing. We flatlined...

My date was boring. I spent most of the evening examining the decor in the restaurant,  I couldn't wait to get back home to my book. I know its sad. The guy was a very nice, sweet guy but we have virtually nothing in common.

I normally have no trouble when it comes to chatting to new people. There is always something to talk about. But last night I REALLY struggled to think of things to say. The guy didn't help either. Every time I brought up a subject, or asked him a question he answered, but didn't think to ask me the same... or similar.

All he kept talking about was camping and cars. Riveting I tell you!

Another thing that got to me was the fact that I could barely understand a thing he was saying! He mumbles quite badly. I had to concentrate very hard. A few times he would mumble something incoherent and look at me as if I was supposed to answer him.. but I had no idea what he just said. I just kind of smiled and changed the subject. It was awkward to say the least.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

Now comes the hard part of actually telling him that he is a really nice guy but I am not interested, without hurting him in the process. *sigh*

Have I mentioned how much I HATE blind dates???

I hate having to get all dressed up. I hate Trying to imagine what the guy looks like from his voice on the phone. I hate struggling to make conversation. I hate that awkwardness that comes when we say our goodbyes. So much to hate!!! Yet I keep doing it again and again.

I sound like a real bitch, don't I. He really was a nice guy, I am sure he will make some woman very happy BUT we just didn't click.

NEXT...

I finally did it. I have been threatening to do it for so long, I have been wanting to do it for so long but I just couldn't do it. I'd make endless promises and agreements with myself. I had this bizarre, unexplainable fear about it, or you can probably call it a mental block.

What am I talking about?

I am talking about me, finally getting over my fear and going for a run/walk in street, in public! with peak hour traffic and a hundred and something eyes watching me.

I got home after work yesterday evening and put on my gym gear and off I went. I didn't let myself over analyze what I was doing, I just went!

WOW what a feeling. I loved it. The only issue I had was the fact that I am very unfit and I have a long LONG way to go. But I know that I will do it. Give me a couple of months and I will be trotting along the road as if I'd been doing it my whole life.

I went for a total of 34 minutes. I think that I must have only run for a third of the time but I am quite proud of that. I got my heart rate up and finally put my HRM to good use. By the time I got back home I was sweating like a seasoned athlete :) (or a very unfit one, I prefer the first option though).

My ham strings are now ham strungs but they will get better...

The best part is that I slept like a baby last night.

This wasn't the only fear that I managed to get over yesterday :) But the 2nd one isn't as bad as the first.

I am going on yet another blind date tonight.

Yip, another one! eeeeeeeeeek.

The guy sounds really nice though. He is 36 years old, an electrical engineer and I don't know much else. I Have one teeeeeeeny problem though. I can't for the life of me remember his name!!!! help!

I have had name issues for most of my life. I am the kind of person that will be at a party where I am introduced to a bunch of strangers. I will be there with my best friend and when it comes time to introduce my best friend to everyone, I will have completely forgotten his or her name!!! My best friend!!!!

So, this guy told me his name at the beginning of the phone call and no sooner did he say it did the cheeky thing fly straight out of my ear, through my apartment, out the balcony door and far far away.

I guess I will just have to listen VERY carefully when he rings my intercom tonight.

I could just phone the guy who introduced us, but that will be a little bit embarrassing.

What to wear! eeeeeek...

Of course I am going to HAVE to go for a jog/walk before my date. It gives me a nice, beetroot complexion :) I'm sure the guy will be very impressed. Maybe he will think that I "glow".

I did very badly on the not eating crap front yesterday. I had a third of a banana muffin (it had fruit in it so it can't be that bad) hehe, I had a lot of sushi for dinner and not one, not two but THREE skinny cappuccinos!!!! What happened to me cutting down on the coffee???

Oh well, shit happens ;)

I was also supposed to do my upper body exercises today but I just couldn't get up. bad me!

I'm not worried though. Nothing that a jog/walk can't fix ;)

I have to brag!

I think I must have the cutest nephew in the world! :)

Just look at this photo from his 1st birthday party.

He is actually turning 1 on the 18th November, but my sister and her hubby wanted to have a party for him in Australia with all his little friends.

The party was a little creatures party :)

I just want to hug him and squeeze him and give him so many kisses!!!

Thankfully there are only 14 more sleeps till I get to see them!! I can't wait!!!

*grin*  

I had my final dress fitting on Saturday. WOW! My dress has come out beautifully! I am so excited now. All my worries and concerns about the sleeves etc were not necessary. BUT I have decided not to post a photo of it until I get the proper wedding pics. I'd rather show you my dress as I wear it on the day :) That way I will hopefully have really nice hair and make up too ;) I am so happy that at least one other thing has been sorted out and now I have one less thing to worry about.

I stepped on the scale this morning and I am not happy :( I am trying so hard to be below 80 by the time the wedding is here and I have less than 4 weeks left! I know that it is practically TOM today but still. I shouldn't have gone up that much :( *sigh*

I'm sure that now that I am back at gym and giving it my all that the weight will start moving again soon. I have only been back doing the exercise thing for just on one week after all. I must be patient!!!!

But it is soooooooo hard!

I guess all the little biscuits and snacks that I keep sneaking don't really help either ;) - yes I KNOW!! bad me.

I have decided that from today I will NOT allow myself even one taste of anything sweet. Not one bite of a cake, not one teeny biscuit, not one square of chocolate and finally, not one freezoccino! (my ultimate weakness of late) 

I have until my nephews birthday (18 Nov) to lose 4kg. Only then will I be allowed some birthday cake ;)

Right, I feel better now.

It seems to me that in every family, there has to be at least one evil aunt/uncle/cousin/family member etc... Well last night I had to attend the engagement party of my cousin and I had to be in the same building as my evil aunt.

I am still shaking from the whole experience.

I never thought I could actual feel so much hatred and bitterness towards another human being. I honestly didn't think I had it in me. I get on with most people and visa versa (I think it must be a Pisces thing). But this Evil Aunt has crossed the line and I don't think I will ever be able to look her in the eye without wanting to hit her or ever actually want to make any kind of conversation or have any contact with her.

Let me go back a bit in time to try and fill you in.

The year is 1977, It's a lovely Saturday in March, the birds are singing, the sun is shining and my mom is in agony. I want out!
I was only about two weeks early but that is me. I am early for EVERYTHING! So at about lunch time I decided to make my entrance into the world. Yes, I was the most gorgeous baby (okay, that's my opinion but I'm sure it must be true).

So anyway, the following day happened to be the wedding of this evil aunt (who will be known as EA from this point on) to my mother's brother. But now you see, my EA decided that my mother gave birth to me on the day before their wedding on purpose! Just so that she could steal some of the limelight from EA! Yes folks! I was a tool in the stealing of EA's marital Glory! Absurd huh!

That was just the start! EA and my SU (spineless uncle) decided that they were going to punish my mom and her family for the next 10 years or so by not talking to us and by not letting their kids play with us. Those were probably the most peaceful years of my life ;)

The only problem was that my grandmother and grandfather were really suffering from all this.

My grandfather was a very sick man. He had emphysema and practically lived with an oxygen tank attached to him. My grandmother couldn't manage to look after him by herself so my mom and dad built a cottage at the back of their house and so my grandparents came to live with us.

This just added more fuel to the fire as now my EA decided that my grandmother loved us more and her kids were suffering without the constant doting and attention of their "beloved" grandmother. I mean REALLY!!! In reality, they hardly ever saw my grandparents because EA had SU under her big fat chubby thumb and wouldn't let him see his own parents very often at all. This is a GREAT way to get your kids to bond with their grandparents isn't it! When they did come to visit (which was very seldom) they would sneak around the side of the house so as not to provoke any interest from my little brothers who only wanted to play with their little cousins (who happened to be the same age as them). Noooo EA's kids might get a disease if they played with us!!!

So this went on for a while and unfortunately it took the death of my grandfather to bring SU, EA and my parents back to speaking terms.

This is turning into a very long story so I will try and sum it up for you.

Since then, SU and his brother have stopped talking to eachother. This is of course due to EA and her bitchiness. Nothing is good enough for her and she is trying her hardest to tare SU and the cousins away from us. She hates us with a passion and isn't shy to let us know this either.

This all used to upset me terribly. But since I've gotten older and wiser ;) I honestly couldn't give a shit if I never see the woman again. EVER.

If they invite my grandmother around for dinner at their house, EA won't even make eye contact with my gran. She will dish up for everyone at the table except my gran! It is beneath her to even pass the salt to my gran!!!
She begrudgingly attended my grandmothers 80th birthday party last month and couldn't even bring herself to wish my gran happy birthday! AT HER OWN PARTY!!!!!!!!!! What kind of human being is this?

My grandmother is the sweetest, kindest, softest person on this earth. She hasn't got it in her to even hurt an ant! She doesn't know how to be mean!!! Why is EA treating her like this????

So anyway, this is basically why I have such strong feelings of anger and resentment towards this woman. Even last night, at the engagement party, she stood with her son's future inlaws and explained to them how much she dislikes us and this was all done in ear shot of us! Well, my one brother and myself heard her. Nice huh!

*take's deep breath*

I wish we could just cut ties with them and live our own lives in peace. Why subject oneself to something so uncomfortable and unnecessary!

I'll tell you why.. because of my gran. We go to these "family" do's for her. To try and make her happy... But the truth of the matter is that I don't think it makes her happy. I think it upsets her more... But this is life...

I think that every family has issues. I am just so grateful that I get on so well with my siblings and their partners. I couldn't ask for a better brother inlaw or future sister inlaw :) I am one of the lucky ones!

YAY ITS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right, it is now officially official! I am NOT doing the 100km bike race this year :( *sniff*

I did my final decider test this morning. I went to my first spinning class in over two months!!!!! OUCH!!!! My poor lungs are still screaming and my face is bright red!!! STILL!!!

I did survive though, so that's a good thing isn't it? ;)

I am rather disappointed about the race but to be honest, it is a week before my brothers wedding. We are going to have so much to do, so many people to see etc etc etc ETC!!! So it probably isn't a bad thing if I don't do the race. What a pity I've already paid the entry fee - argh. But mark my words!!! I WILL DO THE RACE NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!! Come hell or high water (what does that mean anyway?).

I hope I'm not overdoing it this week with the gymming. But I really want to be at the level I was before I got sick. I was doing so well! I think if I take Friday and Saturday as rest days, and then get back to it on Sunday it should be okay.

Last night I attempted to make myself some low fat hamburgers (from scratch)... Well... next time I am gonna just stick to stir fries and roast veggies ;)

I spent ages mixing the mince with the other ingredients, I even managed to roll the mince into burgers without being ill (touching raw meat freaks me out a little). They really looked good!

BUT

As soon as I put my burgers into the pan they disintegrated and I ended up with evil mince meat in a tortilla (didn't have any bread rolls). It really was gross!

I am going to give the cooking a break for today and go for sushi tonight :) I think it is MUCH safer!

We had a major power outage last night. Apparently most of Johannesburg was plunged into darkness. I am still trying to find out what caused it but so far there is no mention of it in any of the online news sites. We had no electricity from just after 7pm till just after 10pm!!! Reading by torch light is kind of fun though ;)

Time to see what today holds for me. It is gonna be another scorcher!

My shower is back and so am I :)

I got home yesterday evening to find that, true to his word, my landlord had sent the plumber over to my apartment to fix my VERY blocked shower. WHAT A PLEASURE!!!!!! I will never take showering after gym for granted again :) teeheee.

I made the most delicious dinner last night too. I think being back at gym has made me feel alive again after being sick for so long. I actually felt like cooking!!! I haven't felt like cooking in SO LONG!!!

Yesterday I was saying to nj how bored I am with the food I have been cooking and eating lately and I just can't think of anything new to make. So he came up with a whole bunch of ideas and I took a few of them and made them my own.

First I roasted some veggies (sweet potato, butternut, red pepper and tomato - with some dried rosemary, black pepper and olive oil spray). While the veggies were doing their thing in the oven, I cut up some chicken breasts and cooked them in a yummy sauce that I concocted out of salsa, tomato paste, lemon juice, chili sauce and various dried herbs. It was soooo tangy and good!!! Once the veggies were done, I threw them into the pan with the chicken and sauce and then served that all up with a bit of couscous that I had cooked with chicken stock. *droooooool* I forgot how much I love cooking. It's just the cleaning afterwards that gets to me.

Guess what I'm having for lunch today ;)

I don't understand how I make a recipe with enough ingredients for two meals and yet I always end up with enough food for at least four meals?!? I'm not complaining but it is so bizarre! Maybe in the past I would have eaten enough for two people? Yeah, I guess that makes some sense ;)

So, today I went to gym again. I did lower body exercises this time so that my upper body could have a much needed rest. I am rather sore today :) But it's a good sore!

I didn't manage to go on my walk/run last night :( I got home and all I wanted to do was cook. hehe oh well.. there is always today ;) maybe...

Oh and I am drinking water like a sponge at the moment! But what goes in must go out!!! Therefore I must be off!!! ;)

I finally made it back to gym today! *huge big wide toothy grin* (after almost two months of not gymming AT ALL)

I even woke up with a big smile this morning!!! Yip, grinning at 4:45am is an entirely new experience for me :) But WOW! What a feeling to actually be back.

It was strange getting up so early and the sun had already started rising. The last time I went to gym it was still dark at 5am. THATS how long its been since I was last there. It really does make it so much easier to get up and go though.

The gym looks like a bomb hit it. Since I was last there it seems that they have decided to revamp the place. So almost everything was covered in dust. But that didn't put a damper on my morning :) noooo sirreeee

I concentrated on the weights side of things. I don't want to jump straight into cardio just yet. But I did do a leeetle bit of cardio too. I am thinking of starting to walk/run every evening when I get home from work. That way I can do cardio in the evenings (in the fresh air) and concentrate on toning and weights at gym every morning. I think that's a good plan. But lets just see if I have the energy to actually do it tonight :)  I have ALWAYS wanted to be a real road runner! (no, not the bird)... So why not just do it! Obviously with my level of fitness having gone to the dogs.. I'm gonna have to start slow and walk instead of run. But I'll get there soon.

The only sh*tty part of this morning was getting home to find that I still can't use my shower. You see, it has been acting strangely for the last few weeks. The water seems to take longer and longer to go down the drain, so I end up having a mini bath at the bottom of my shower. I asked my dad to come help me sort it out (he has all the tools). So he arrived yesterday with his super plunger gun machine. However... My shower is now completely blocked, as opposed to only slightly blocked.. AND when I use the hand basin.. all the water from the basin, goes into the shower (I have NO idea how that works).
I phoned my landlord and he said that he will sort it out today (I hope). But in the meantime I had to take a bath this morning. I HATE baths!!! The only time I enjoy taking a bath is when it is freezing cold and I need to warm up or chill out :) But after a good gymming session.. the last thing I want to do is take a bath!!! But at least I have that option ;)

There is no way I am using the gym showers... I have issues with that. Just in case you were wondering. ;)

I love days like this!!! :)

Except for the fact that I can't actually see my own blog.. For some reason the site is totally blocked from the office and it keeps saying "server not found" but everyone else seems to be able to see it. ho hum. 

Last night I went to see a brilliant play called "Defending the Caveman" - It is a hilarious show about how men and women relate to eachother and the differences between how they think and act. I laughed for almost the entire show.

Anyway, before I went to the play, I decided to put a load of washing on. It normally takes around 30min for a wash in my machine. I stuck the machine on but it didn't make the normal sound that it usually makes when filling up with water. I looked inside and saw that instead of a gush of water, there was a little trickle. I left it for a while and kind of forgot about it. However, after about 15 minutes I heard nothing. Which is even more odd. So I went to investigate further only to find that there was no water to be found anywhere in my apartment. They were doing construction work or something down the road and had turned the entire buildings water supply off. Argh! So I put my machine on pause (clever huh) and headed off to the show.

When I got home, it was about 11h30pm (WAY past my bed time) but I checked that my water was back on and I had to finish the wash cycle (or end up with very smelly, wrinkled washing the next day).

 Needless to say, I had a LATE night. So this morning when I woke up I couldn't be botherred making work lunch. I figured I'd treat myself to some Take Away's for a change. I was going to get something healthy for lunch but ended up being in a bit of a hurry and my colleague and I stopped off at a burger place to grab a bite. I had a "Tikka" chicken burger (no chips). I don't even remember the last time I had such a "bad" choice of food. And I can't actually believe how my whole outlook on food has changed.

What amazed me the most is how my body has reacted to this food.
One would think that a simple chicken burger (with "Tikka" sauce) wasn't THAT unhealthy.
But I have now got the most horrible heart burn (I think its from the bread roll), I feel very queasy and very tired. It is so strange but I am actually glad I've had this reaction to my lunch :)
It shows me:
a) How healthy I have become and
b) How much my life has changed because of it.

I like being healthy and craving "good" food. I like that my body thrives on healthy food. And it is so good to know that my body can now show me just how bad fast food is for me. hehe. What a clever body I have!

I know you've heard this way too often lately but I WISH I was back in my exercise routine now. I miss being fit. I miss looking at my body and seeing it forming into a nice shape (it has gone so flabby again) and I miss the rush I get from a good workout.

SO, I have decided to go back to gym on Monday no matter what! :)

Okay I think I need to do something drastic to kick my body back into action. My immune system is broken and so is my metabolism etc... It has been over two months since I was at gym and I NEED help.

So, I was wondering if anyone out there has some information on a detox that I can do for a week or two that might get me healthy again. Any ideas? I have always wanted to do one but I honestly don't know where to start and I'd rather do a detox that will have proper results, and has been done by someone before.

I NEED to sort myself out now. Enough is enough.

I was super healthy two months ago and suddenly I am little miss sickness. I don't like that name and it certainly doesn't suit me.

I am Miss HealthyTonedExerciseNut :) Don't you think that name is better? Yip, thought so too.

I have been having problems with comments on my blog. If you are having issues with posting a comment, please can you email me and let me know.

Why is it, that whenever someone (I am speaking about myself here) wears a nice, fresh, crisp white shirt, they inevitably spills something on it. Not just any something.. something that will probably never ever go away... Lets say a Freezoccino or something ;) - Murphey's Law

I guess that's what bleach is for?

HOWEVER! Me + bleach = DANGER!!!! So maybe I can ask my mom nicely if she will help :) That's what moms are for isn't it???

I am on a sugar high of note! I just ate a whole role of vitamin C sweets :) Yes, they are laden with glucose!! *bounce* I am enjoying the high.. lets try not think about the crash that comes afterwards though.

Things seem to be very quiet in blogland these days. Where are you all??? I miss you!!!!! COME BAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

(why is everyone in the office staring at me? Did I say that aloud?)

teehee

I love sugar high's *bounce*

Seeing as I can't think of anything else to write about, I guess this is it for today. yay!

Yay its MONDAY!!!!!!!!!! heeeeheeeee!!!!

Don't worry, I haven't gone mad. I am just feeling so much better today!!
I know that most people frown upon anti biotic's but I think that sometimes they really are necessary. Like now ;)

However! This is my third lot of anti biotic's in less than 2 months and if these don't fix me for good then I will get cross. But I am hoping for the best and I know that I am on the mend. yay!

I had a pretty boring weekend. I spent most of it lounging around at my parents house (always a good thing to do when you are sick, they tend to spoil you rotten) :)

I woke up this morning in a terrible mood. I was feeling anxious and angry and depressed. I think it may have had something to do with the wrong number that phoned my cell phone at 4:52am?!? Or the fact that I haven't been to gym in SO long, or a number of different reasons BUT I decided to try something new to cheer me up...

I smiled. Yip, that simple. I walked around my flat, with a smile plastered to my face and it really worked!!! I also put some happy music on while I got dressed and ate my breakfast. It isn't easy to eat and smile at the same time but it can be done! ;) And it really worked. In fact, I am sitting here right now with a big smile on my face. I think my colleagues think I am strange but who cares!!! *smile* - try it!

But smiling aside... I am feeling very overwhelmed at the moment by a lot of things that are happening in my life and I am sure that this added stress has been contributing to me not being able to get better. I understand what they mean when they say that stress can eat away at you.

When I get stressed I tend to bottle it up (so that I can deal with it later) and then I end up with lots of "bottles" of stress all waiting to be attended to and ready to burst and sometimes a few of the "bottles" burst open at the same time. Say for instance I have an evil client that I am working with. I'll have an issue that should be dealt with straight away but no, I will bottle it up until that issue escalates into something that I really can't deal with. But in the interim, little bits of stress will leak out of the "bottle" to keep reminding me that it has to be dealt with. Thus poisoning me in the process.

ARGH!

I need a punching bag!!!

But its okay.. I am smiling ;) I can cope with this!

I had an anti pigeon device installed onto my window sill. I paid a fair bit of money for this device. It's basically plastic spikes that are supposed to make it very uncomfortable for the pigeon to land. They are supposed to get a fright when their wings touch the spikes, thus NOT landing on my window sill. But things don't tend to work correctly in Bee's world. I think my pigeons are actually using the spikes to clean their teeth!!! Yes, my pigeons DO have teeth! I've seen them!! (not really). But seriously. This isn't working!!! I will get the pigeons! I will I will!!!

I am sick AGAIN!!!! yes, I can't believe it either. What on earth is going on with me???? I went to see a new doctor on Monday (after spending the entire weekend coughing my lungs out) and she thinks it may be asthma related. She is trying me on a whole bunch of asthma medication but so far I am still coughing and coughing. Did I say I was coughing?

It actually feels as if someone has beaten me up from the inside. Not a fun experience I tell you!

On a good note :) My sister and her family will be here in less than 5 weeks!!! and the wedding is in six weeks!!!!! omg!! where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday that my brother got engaged!!!!!! We are all starting to get very excited now.
I also just got confirmation that my Aussie family are definitely coming for the wedding so that just adds to my excitement!!! *grin*

On another good note... well let me take you back about 3 days... I stepped onto the scale and "eeeeeeeeeek" I was up to over the 82kg mark.. but I stepped onto the scale again this morning and I am back down to 81.4 *whew*. I am NOT allowed a piece of chocolate or anything bad until I am at least just below 80!!! I am so bloody close yet it is just taking so bloody long to get there!!!!!!

I think I need gym to work on all these frustrations ;)

Pity my stupid lungs don't agree... ho hum...

I spent the day at home yesterday because I just didn't have the energy to come to work. I was up most of the previous night coughing and having an internal boxing match. I am so glad I chose to stay in bed. I really needed it and it really helped. Pity I have an over active conscience and HAD to come to work today ;) Why do I feel guilty so easily? It's not like I was staying at home for fun!!! oh well... I'm glad to be back in the land of the living... My walls were starting to close in on me.

Ooooh I think I've found out why the Pigeons are targeting me!!! Well not me as such.. but my windowsill. I stuck my head out of the window yesterday to see if anyone else may have thought of an ingenious way of getting rid of pigeons but I noticed that a) not one other windowsill had pigeon poo on it and b) Mine was the only one that was all scratched and didn't have paint on it!!! So, my conculsion to this mystery is......

The pigeons are using my windowsill as a scratching post!!! To sharpen their beaks or something... How bloody rude!!!!

Wanna hear something funny? I was lying in bed yesterday trying my hardest not to cough. There was a pigeon on my windowsill doing its scratching thing and I had managed to block it out. But something caught my eye and I looked at the window to see what it was. One of the pigeons had hopped into my window and was now inside my room!!! hehe What fun!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!! So I simply stayed in my bed (I didn't want to frighten it and end up with pigeon poo all over my curtains) and I said "Hey, pigeon, you are in my room, please go out" and you know what?!?
It listened to me!!!!!!!

I know what you are thinking... but it wasn't my medication. This really did happen.

So anyway... enough babbling. I have work to do!!!!!!!!

Aaah, what a feeling to wake up, open the curtains to a grey, overcast morning with the fresh, sensual smell of rain in the air. I know that days like this can be gloomy and depressing but somehow today it isn't. It feels calm and clean. I am slightly under dressed for a day like this, BUT who cares! I'll just have to drink more tea to stay warm :)

It's Friday my friends! I think that kind of explains my good mood :) I really wish that this kind of mood could be bottled. And whenever you need it, you just uncork the bottle, take a deep sniff and BAM! Instant good / happy mood!

I have been stressing so much lately about work and gym and other aspects of my life and I have been letting these stresses overwhelm and overpower me. I am going to try very hard from now on to take a step back from these things and compartmentalize them so that each and every thing that is stressing me out will be manageable and doable. There is no reason to stress so much.

I am sure that all these "little" things that I have allowed balloon into "bigger" things are a huge part of the reason that I got such bad flu and am taking so long to recover properly.

I sat down this morning, while eating my breakfast and made a small list of things that I really would like to do, that would be a great benefit to my life right now.

1. I am going to start yoga - I think this would be a GREAT help in dealing with stress and managing my health too.

2. I am going to run! - I don't mean becoming a sprinter or anything like that. I just want to be one of those people who come home from work, change and go out on the street for a jog. A REAL jog! Out there, in the open, where everyone can see my wobbly legs and bum... But who the hell cares!!!!???!!!

3. I am going to SWIM!! - This has been one of my biggest obstacles. I absolutely LOVE swimming. I have been told by so many people that I am a natural swimmer. I feel so free in the water BUT it goes back to when I was a chubby little girl and I used to get teased and taunted so much. I just can't bring myself to get into my swimming gear and go out there in front of the world. (yes, it is only a few people at the gym, but it feels like the world is watching). - I do have to have a leg wax first though... so i'll get to the first two items on my list first ;)

So those are the first three things on my list. I know that they are all doable and I will do them.
First thing is to phone the gym and find out when the yoga classes are. Maybe I could even squeeze in a lunch time one ;) Now THAT would be good!!!

So I'll keep you posted and let you know how I go with these three things. I really feel the need to do something different. I need new challenges and what better way then this? And what better time then NOW! yayyyyy

I hope you all have a relaxing and refreshing weekend :)

So, last week I finally got my new glasses :)

I was going to post a pic of them on Friday (just after I got them) but I totally forgot.

I remembered that I forgot to remember last night :)

So, here are my new glasses... It has now almost been a week and I still haven't gotten used to them. It feels like the ground is raised and I have to walk very carefully! It is also very strange looking at my computer screen... Kind of like looking out of a fish bowl...  but I think I am almost used to that now. I did feel VERY queasy at first though :) BUT I can see so well again!!! What a relief.

I am having trouble getting back into gymming. It is starting to really annoy me. My head and my heart want to get back into it ASAP but my body just won't listen.
Okay, I have been working after hours every day for the past few weeks, and I have been getting to bed really late.

But I HAVE to get back into my old routine!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I am going to give myself till Monday morning and I will be back into it FULL TIME (do you hear me body???) by then!!!

I will darnit!!! grrrrrrrrr arghhhhhhhhh

The extra money from video editing etc is really good, but to be honest, I am TIRED!!! It is hard working a full day and then going straight home to work again... Sometimes I wonder if the little bit of extra money is really worth all the extra stress.

My new couch says yes, it is... but my now very flabby body says no, it certainly isn't.... I'm sure there must be a compromise out there.

So, yesterday was the Big Fast - a.k.a - Yom Kippur. For those of you who don't know what its all about, here is a very brief explanation:

"Yom Kippur is the Jewish day of repentance, considered to be the holiest and most solemn day of the year. Its central theme is atonement and reconciliation.

Eating, washing, cosmetics, wearing leather shoes, and conjugal relations are prohibited. Total abstention from food and drink usually begins half-an-hour before sundown and ends after nightfall the following day.

The name "Yom Kippur" means "Day of Atonement," and that pretty much explains what the holiday is. It is a day set aside to "afflict the soul," to atone for the sins of the past year."

The weather report said that it would be 29 degrees centigrade yesterday but (I am being totally honest here) a small miracle happened and it ended up being totally overcast and VERY cool :) PERFECT weather for fasting. I didn't even feel thirsty (which I normally do, very early into the fast).

So all went well and I feel so good now. I am just really angry with myself. You see, there is a tradition that we have a breaking of the fast meal. We usually get invited out to family or friends and as per all Jewish festivities, there is a LOT of food and pretty much none of it is WW friendly. I had promised myself that I would take it easy after the fast, only drink water (no fizzy drinks) and NO bad food. However.. after a whole day of not eating or drinking ones brain and stomach tend to lose touch with each other and I ended up feasting on all the bad, evil, non WW friendly food.... sigh...

BUT on a good note. I woke up this morning, turned over a new leaf and I am back to counting every single bit of food that enters my mouth. I feel so fat at the moment but I know that TOM is due any second so that might explain it a bit. But I haven't been as strict as I should be lately so I am back to being super strict again :) I have a MONTH left to the wedding!!!!!!! one month!!!!!!!!! uno! eeeeeeeeek! So much for being at 75kg.. but still I want to at least be below 80. That is my pre-wedding goal.

I am now going to get me a cup of green tea :) yay!!!!

This is me (doing what one does) on my brand new (Ox blood - I still hate that word) Leather couch / sofa!

I didn't think I'd see my sofa - ever... let me go back a day or so and explain

The Tale of the Disappearing Delivery Truck .
I get a phone call late on Wednesday morning from my brother. His Fiance has discovered this amazing, incredible, stupendous furniture factory sale. The Furniture company is known for its beautiful furniture so I was quite excited. I have been wanting a brown leather sofa for as long as I can remember (probably not when I was in primary school though... I think I wanted a blue BMX or something along those lines). So I traipse off to this sale during my lunch hour and low and behold, I see my sofa!!! There it is, waiting for me and it's a THIRD off the normal price!!! So naturally I bought it, right there and then. Never say that I don't do things spontaneously!!!

I paid for my new sofa and was assured that it would be delivered the following day (Thursday) at around 12pm. My brother's stuff would also be delivered the following day at around 11am. So, I happily (yet still in shock from my rather large purchase) returned to work.

The next day comes along and I excitedly head off to work, knowing that at lunch time I will be going home to let the delivery guys in and take ownership of my shiny new sofa. However, at about 11h30 I still hadn't heard from the deliver guys, so I called my future sister inlaw to see if their stuff had been delivered yet. She had gone to their new (very empty) apartment to wait for the deliver and get some studying done at the same time. But so far, their stuff hadn't been delivered yet. We phoned the factory to see what the story was and the guy assured us that our furniture would be delivered within the next hour or so. He told us that the truck had departed at 9am and should be there soon. We waited and waited and waited. I kept trying to phone the factory and battled to get through each time. Eventually I managed to track down the sales man again. He sounded stressed and told me that they had "lost their truck". How do you lose a truck? So I informed my (now very irritable and hungry) sister inlaw that this was the story. We waited a bit longer and phoned again and the guy gave us the same story that their truck was missing. I started to worry for the poor truck drivers.

At about 3:30pm I phoned the guy again and this time he told me that the truck had been hijacked and that I mustn't worry, my stuff would still be delivered the following day... Now, let me just ask you all one question. IF the truck had indeed been hijacked-(captured, stolen, taken over..) (as the seedy little sales man said), then surely they wouldn't be able to deliver our stuff the following day, seeing as it had been hijacked along with the truck??? I know this obviously didn't even enter into this guys small brain... but I left it at that. However, my clever future sister inlaw and her mom decided to investigate further. The story didn't quit compute in their heads either. And they drove to the factory to speak to someone in person this time. They met with the factory manager. He looked a little closer into the matter and found out that our stuff had ONLY been dispatched at 4:30pm (the last truck for the day) and he was totally confused as to our story about the truck being hijacked!!! (Talk about a communication breakdown).

So, my future sister inlaw phoned me to tell me that my stuff was on it's way (this was about 5:30pm) and I was already at my pottery class (covered in clay). I quickly cleaned up and raced home. I waited and waited and waited and eventually nearly went mad from waiting. My future sister inlaw's mom was in contact with the driver who said that he was now on the other side of Johannesburg (about an hour away) and he would be coming to my place first and then to theirs... Lucky for me my amazing parents offered to come and wait for the couch. I was missing pottery class and I HAD to finish the present I was working on for my brother. (I think I have the nicest parents in the world). So eventually at about 7:30pm my couch arrived!!!! Can you believe it!!! To add insult to injury, they very nearly didn't get it into my apartment. They couldn't fit it through the door but somehow they did it and I am now the proud (yet still flustered) owner of a shiny new (Ox blood) sofa!!!!!!!! yayyyy

We are going to call the furniture company's MD today to demand some kind of compensation for yesterday's mess.  I hope that liar of a salesman gets some kind of stern punishment for making us worry like that. It is so wrong. If they had told us the truth from the beginning we would have happily carried on with our day, knowing that we would have our stuff that night... Why do people feel the need to lie?

I didn't make it to gym today :( I had a VERY sore throat and ear again last night. I seriously need to sort this out now. Its bizarre and annoying.

I am going for another dress fitting tomorrow :) I will hopefully get some decent photos this time and then I can show you my dress. The last ones really made me look like a hippopotamus!!! Seriously!

Onwards and upwards. Have a super weekend. Aussie's, enjoy the long weekend and the rest of you have a good break. I won't be back till Tuesday because Monday is Yom Kippur (the Day of atonement - when we get to fast for a whole day - no food or drink and then hopefully we get our slates wiped clean for the year).

There's this crazy new machine at gym that apparently stretches and re-aligns your spine... Its quite a funky contraption. Looks like a long, flat board. You stand, with your back against it and push a button that moves something over your ankles to lock them in. Then you push another button and the machine turns itself upside down and with a great big woosh, all the blood in your body rushes straight to your head.

This is my new favorite machine! I have no idea if it actually does have any benefits but I don't care. It's just so much fun being upside down. The world looks so much nicer from there AND I get an instant tan in my face!!! I could have stayed there for an entire hour this morning but my fat was actually ASKING to be gotten rid of, so rather reluctantly I turned myself right side up, left my super machine and did some light cardio instead.

I have now been back at gym for TWO whole days!!! Go me!!!! And you know what! I am sore!!!! I haven't even done that much so I am really scared for when I do start gymming properly... oh the pain!!!!!! Okay, I'll stop moaning... I know it's actually good pain. My body, for one, is VERY happy to be back at gym :) I just have to get used to these early nights / early EARLY mornings again. I had forgotten how to sleep drive. I must learn to do that again too!!!

I have to get new glasses :( I went to the Optometrist yesterday after work and he did all sorts of strange tests on me. Basically my right eye has deteriorated quite a lot and my left eye only a bit. My left eye used to be REALLY bad (but I had my good right eye to compensate). Now both eyes are almost equally as bad. No wonder I can't see these days... I just thought that everything around me was supposed to be blurred.

I asked the optometrist chap if I could do the laser eye surgery thing and he said that he doesn't recommend it because my eyes aren't bad enough... How bad is bad enough??? I can't actually see well at ALL without my glasses... I also asked about contact lenses and he tested the health of my eyes to see if I could wear them. My eyes are not healthy. I am going to take out a gym membership for them soon. They must sort themselves out. I think they have been smoking in secret... BAD eyes!!!

SO I am just getting some new frames and new lenses and hopefully this time next week I will actually be able to see again.

I have already drunk about a liter of water this morning... so I must go and rid myself of some of that water and say farewell!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

That was a LONG long weekend :) But it was really good.
It basically consisted of pray, eat, eat, pray, eat, pray, eat sleep and eat some more :) All in all it was a very happy new year. I just wish I could undo some of the eating I did.. but hey... its a once a year thing... I'll be fasting next week so that might help a bit hehe.

Also, some very exciting news!!!!!! I started gym again today!!!!!!!!! *huge grin* I can't believe it! I feel sooooooooo good! Yes, I have lost a lot of my fitness, but I think that I will be able to get it all back in a short time. I started off gradually today. I just did a 20 minutes brisk walk on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the exercise bike and then I did some stomache crunches and stretches. I don't want to kill myself just yet. My body went through a lot with that evil flu and I need to treat it well. I can't wait till I can run properly and also start my weight training again. I just don't know when the right time to start is... I don't want to overdo it just yet.. but still!!!! It's amazing how much better I feel in general today just from one hour of exercise!!!

So, as promised, here is a pic of me in my new dress :) I feel so good in it. The cut is perfect for me!!! (if I do say so myself). I wore it on Friday night.

As always, after a long weekend I have tons of work to catch up on, so this will be a short but sweet post :) (don't worry, no calories in the sweet part).

I have been feeling a LOT better lately. My anxiousness seems to be settling down to a mere flutter of the heart and health wise, This flu bug is almost history (I hope). I think I can put the anxiousness down to what's been going on at work, that I haven't been able to go to gym for just over a month now and the fact that my brothers wedding is just over 9 weeks away!!!! I have so much to organise (being the maid of honor) and it does get stressful!

While i'm on that topic, let me tell you my great plan for the bridal shower. You see, my brother and his fiancé  are only 23 years old. They are going to be moving into their very first apartment and neither of them has lived out of their parents houses before. I remembered that when I first moved out, one of the biggest expenses was having to fill my pantry. I had to start from scratch buying spices and sauces and dry goods etc... So, what I have decided to do (and I think this is a genius idea) is ask everyone to find their favorite recipe, print it out nicely and buy one or two of the ingredients from the recipe. They must then wrap them up nicely and B2B (bride to be) must then read the recipe and try guess which of the ingredients are in the package. That way
a: the guests don't have to stress about what to buy and won't have to fork out a fortune,
b: It will be loads of fun watching B2B trying to figure out what is what and
c: we'll be able to stock up their very first pantry, which will help them out BIG time!
and of course we'll do all the silly games and stuff but that is my main idea... so far...

So, its official. I am now proud to announce that I FINALLY below 82kgs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (180lbs). As of this morning I was 81.8kg, yes yes I know it isn't THAT far below but still!! i've never EVER EVER seen those numbers before on the scale :) *grin* and that's without going to gym for over a month!!!!!!!! so i'm allowed to be very excited!!!
I have also (as of yesterday) gone on to the last notch on my belt!!! When I first bought this belt I could barely close it on the first notch!!! *huge big toothy grin*

I am so excited for Monday. Firstly it is a public holiday in South Africa.  And secondly I am going for a dress fitting for my bridesmaid dress and I really hope she has to take more of it in :) last time she had to take it in quite a lot and now this is a couple of months later... My only disappointment is that my arms aren't the nice, firm shapely arms that I had envisioned... sigh.. i was working so hard towards getting them perfect and then I had to go and get sick... oh well... hopefully she can turn the spaghetti straps into sleeves somehow ;) we'll see... I will take my camera and if i look decent enough I will post a pic of it.

Hope you are all well and happy and having a GREAT day!!!

I did it :) I went to the meeting and stood my ground! I didn't even get teary once and it all worked out pretty well in the end (I think). Basically, the guy that I had originally worked for, told the other two guys that have recently come on board, that he had paid me a huge amount of money (I wish) and that I hadn't done any work for it. So I calmly explained my side of the story and that I certainly have NOT been paid such a large amount of money. (I did tell them that if they ever feel the need to depart of such an amount, it would always be welcome) and that when I tried to contact the original guy, he never returned any of my messages and that was 3 months ago. I also managed to subtly say that legally, the original quotation document that was signed is now null and void (seeing that it is now 3 months later and they have been messing me around so much) and that from the goodness of my heart I won't draw up a new contract and charge them more (as I should actually do). I think that the crux of the issue was that this original chap doesn't actually have any business sense and he was spending money right, left and center and the two new guys are trying to piece it all together and figure out where exactly all the money has gone. Once we had established what the truth was, they turned out to be pretty nice people and I am still going to be doing the website for them. The best of all is that it is pretty much on my terms. :) THANK YOU all for your words of encouragement and your support.

I actually felt so much lighter and happier after the meeting. I can't believe how much I let it stress me out.

So onto other stuff :) As promised (long ago) here is a photo of my latest piece that I made at pottery. I made this for my parents as a Jewish New Year gift :) She looks quite scary without the choccies but my intention was to have whatever is on the plate as her hair. (ie. the Frerro Rocher chocolates ;) mmmm)

Before:

After:

I want to make loads of different versions of this :) It was really fun to make and I think it is a fun gift too. *grin* I know her eyes look kind of scary but its my first one and i'm sure my technique will get better soon ;)

 

 

I am exhausted. I have had one of the busiest weekends ever and what I really needed was a rest.

I have been doing some freelance work after hours and so the for the whole of last week I would do my 9 hours at my day job and then head straight to my parents house to carry on working on my freelance job (I use my dad's editing equipment).
I spent the majority of Saturday working on this editing job, then I went to help a friend set up for her 30th birthday party. I went to the party that night (which ended VERY late). Then early on Sunday morning I headed out to the airport to pick up a package that nj sent me. (THANKS AGAIN NJ!!!) The person who brought my package was delayed (they lost his luggage) and so I waited for over an hour for him to come out. I then headed straight to my grandmothers 80th birthday party to help set up and then the guests arrived and the party was in full swing. (80 year olds are amazing). Then I kind of helped clean up, but by this stage I felt like I was floating away from my body, watching from a distance. I was exhausted. I don't know if it is still the evil flu bug that is in my body, but I really don't enjoy feeling like this. A lot of it was pre-family-gathering-stress... My mom's side of the family are all full of shit. This brother doesn't talk to that brother, who's wife is an evil bitch from hell and her children take after her... She is downright rude to my grandmother and I have no idea what she was doing at the party when CLEARLY she would rather have been sitting at the bottom of a very dirty toilet bowl, eating pickled eggs... well, that visualisation at least makes me feel very happy... (but that is a whole other story which I really don't want to burden you all with today) - at least my grandmother enjoyed herself and felt like the incrediblely special person that she is.

Then last night I had to go and video a high school play. Videoing a school play isn't as easy as it sounds. You have to give your full concentration for the duration of the play and you have to stay on your feet too. This was not a good thing to do for someone who was already exhausted. I seem to be saying exhausted a lot in this post ;) I wonder why... I got home after 11pm and fell almost instantly asleep.

I have more stresses to contend with today :( I have a meeting this afternoon with another freelance client of mine. I did some work for him some time ago. He paid me my deposit and things seemed to be going well and then out of the blue he just stopped contacting me. I tried to phone, text and email him and he didn't return any of my messages. So I took this to be that he was obviously unhappy with something I did and that was that. Then on Thursday he phoned me to say that he is now ready to resume with his job. This is now 3 MONTHS LATER!!!! I told him I was busy (which I was) and that I would phone him as soon as I have some time. The following day, his work partner called me and basically accused me of wasting their time and being unreasonable etc. He also mentioned that they had paid for the job and demanded that I see them immediately to get the job complete. (as I said before, he only paid me a 10% deposit for the job).
Now, let me side track a bit and explain that I CAN'T DO CONFRONTATION!!! I avoid it like the plague and I really really am not good at it. I have however agreed to meet with them this evening to discuss their job. I really don't know what to do about this. I don't like being accused of something that I truly am not guilty of. I feel like bursting into tears. These guys really intimidate me and I feel sick just thinking about this afternoon's meeting. I am hoping that it won't be as bad as I think it will be. But this is who I am... I tend to think of the absolute worst thing that will happen and make myself sick in the process. I think that this has added to my exhaustive state and it isn't funny. Oh well, I guess i'll just have to dose up on rescue remedy and take it as it comes... Sorry to burden you all with this futility but I need to get it out there and off my chest for a bit...

I have had so much on my mind lately and I feel that it is eating me up from the inside. I really hate feeling like this. It is like being in a permanent state of anxiousness and I don't quite know how to get out of it. I have become very jumpy and lazy and tired.... I think that kind of sums it up...

Nothing like a serious post on a Monday morning ;)

What a week!!! I haven't stopped for one second!!! whew... I am living up to my name I guess ;) Busy beee... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have had so much work to get through at the office and then after hours I am working on a video presentation for a 70th birthday. (I do these things in my spare time). Worst of all, I can't actually see an end to any of these things... Oh well... i'll just ride the wave until I get to my island :) At least I really enjoy the video editing stuff... Could be worse.

But seriously, my stress levels have really been high this week. I think with all the stuff happening at work and with all the stuff happening in my life AND the fact that I haven't been to gym for a month now.. well... its understandable.

This weekend is also going to be MAD!!! I am spending pretty much most of saturday doing the video editing, then I have a friend's 30th Birthday party on Sat night. On Sunday morning I have to go help my mom set up for my grandmothers 80th birthday party, and then it's the party at lunch time and then I have to go afterwards to video a school play (yip, I also do that in my spare time).... I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

If the saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" is true, then I should be about as strong as the Hulk by now ;) ROARRRR *bangs fists on chest - hurts boobs - cries in pain.... etc etc*

But somehow, I woke up this morning in a better mood then i've been in ALL week!!! yay!! I guess sleep really does make a difference ;)

My eating has gone all awry lately. I have been craving sweet things like there is no tomorrow (must be the bee in me). But I have to put my foot down *stomp* and stop this shit. I have under 3kg's to go till i'm out of the 80's and I have to get there!!! I was supposed to be way under 80 by now. Why do I do this to myself all the time???? Self sabotage sucks!!!! I have packed a very good lunch for today, I have enough fruit and veg to snack on and I have my bottle of water all ready to go. There is no reason why I should want to buy sweets or rubbish. So I won't! :) yay!

I hope you are all having a great day.

This week started off on a very unhappy note. There was a bit of an upset in the office and a lot of people have pretty much lost their jobs. It is a completely different division to mine, and I have been assured that my job is still safe however I can't stop thinking that it could have happened to me and could still happen to me at any time. I love this job. Yes, it has its ups and downs (as do all jobs) but overall I love the people I work with, the environment I am working in etc. I don't ever dread coming to work and I wake up almost every morning happy to go to work.

There is an overall feeling of shock and uneasiness around here now. In life it seems that we are all expendable. Nothing is forever.

After giving it serious thought I have decided to just live life for today. I will give each day my all and hope that my world won't come crashing down around me in the blink of an eye. If it does, I will just deal with it as best I can and hopefully things will come right again.

I just feel very sorry for the people who have left. I hope that they find their feet again and that life isn't as bleak as it seems to be today.

On a happier note! I actually had my first decent nights sleep in five days!!!! Every time I would put my head on the pillow I started coughing and coughing and coughing some more. Then eventually I would fall asleep and the next thing i'd be woken up by the chorus of birds outside my window. I have been looking for an anti pigeon device to install on my window sill. Any ideas?????

So last night, I was over exhausted and I decided that enough is enough. I WILL get some sleep!!! So I paid a visit to my parents house, borrowed their humidifier, got a sleeping pill from my mom and some cough medicine, I then went home, put the humidifier on in my room, took half a sleeping pill and a whole lot of cough medicine and was soundly asleep by about 8:30pm :) I am happy to report that I stayed soundly asleep throughout the night and woke up WIDE AWAKE this morning. I feel a million times better now. I just have to get rid of the evil cough and the pigeons.

So, onwards and upwards and time to start work. I have a mountain of it to get through today and this is one mountain I intend to conquer!!!!

The BUG is BACK! :(

Yip, I thought I was out of the woods but it was just a small (but beautiful) clearing in the dark, ominous forrest of flu.

I awoke early yesterday morning with the tell tale scratch in the back of my throat and a rhythmic pounding in my head. At this rate I could start a band! The Flu Fighters? The Blood contaminating Gang?

So much for my plan to be back in the gym this weekend. Maybe the mere thought of going back to my old routine scared the living shit out of my muslces and so they are retaliating against me? TOUGH!!! I will be back!!! You hear that muscles??? You can't scare me off that easily!!! *cough* - okay, maybe you can... *shiver*

So, instead of going to gym or going cycling this weekend I think I will try book myself a much needed hair cut! THAT should make me feel heaps better!!! If anything, at least i'll LOOK a lot better with a good hair trim. I am dying to do something totally drastic and different with my hair. But I know that I will walk in there with good intentions but i'll walk back out a couple of hours later looking pretty much the same (just a bit better). I am too chicken to go with a short style. I don't really think it will suit me and I have extremely fine hair as it is. I don't want to go around scaring young children you know!

Food wise, I have been so good this week UNTIL yesterday. I was wallowing in my (i'm sick again) mysery and I ended up drinking a HUGE glass of Orange Juice, eating some (medicinal?) dark chocolate AND munching on lozenges like they were the best thing since sliced bread to hit the Southern Hemisphere. Yes, that last bit doesn't really make sense to me either but just go with it ok?

So, go forth and have yourselves a very good weekend. Be safe and STAY FOCUSED!!!!!! (unless you have flu and are feeling very sorry for yourself, then just be safe and stay away from too much chocolate).

I'M BAAAAACK!!!!!

I feel like a brand new person. It all started yesterday morning when I woke up and I could breathe!!! I also had a very strong urge to spring clean my apartment!!!! I don't know if it has something to do with the beautiful hot days that we are currently experiencing, or the fact that it is officially spring now. But wow. What a feeling. I've been sick with that evil flu for so long that I didn't think I’d ever come right. *grin*

I'm going to give it until the weekend before I go back to gym. I don't want to overdo it just yet :) I am really itching to get back though. I suddenly have energy that has been hiding away for so long.

The great thing though, and I don't, for the life of me know why, but I’ve actually lost some weight!!! I haven't been to gym or done any exercise (except coughing) for just over two weeks now. I have been eating rubbish and sitting on my ass for most of the days that I was sick. But I will say thank you very much to my body and take the loss with a big smile.
As of this morning I am 83.2kg (183.42lbs). Which really isn't bad. I honestly thought i'd be back at 90kg by now :) I was supposed to be below 80kg (according to my goals that I set) but hey, I am still happy with where I am and I am back to counting each and every morsel that passes my lips. I will be below 80kg by the end of Sept!!!

I bought myself some Tofu on the weekend. I want to cook it in a stir fry. Does anyone have any ideas for me? I haven't ever cooked with Tofu before :) I am feeling brave though.

I Had such a nice day on Saturday. It started off with me FINALLY going for a much needed leg wax (which wasn't actually nice, but it feels good now), then I went to fetch my mom and her friend and we headed off to the organics market. We strolled around the market for a couple of hours, looking at all the crafts on offer and trying hard to resist all yummy foods that we could see and smell wherever we walked. Then we headed to a nearby organic restaurant for lunch. I had a delicious open sandwich with roasted butternut, tofu that had been marinated in a delicious Greek style marinade, grilled mushrooms, roasted pumpkin seeds on a bed of home made Hummus. This was all served on top of a scrumptious piece of home made whole grain bread. *droooool* After that I went back home for a much needed nap :) (it was after all my first real day out since I’ve been sick). Then on Saturday night I went with some friends to see a new stage production called RED. It is an Indian Dance Spectacular.  It was so much fun. I love Indian dance and music. In fact, I think I border on obsessed. There is something about wearing a sari that just oozes femininity. I'd wear one all the time but I think my pink skin and blue/green eyes might just give me away ;)

Yesterday I went furniture shopping with my brother and his fiancé, then I went with my family for lunch and then I actually managed to spring clean my apartment!!! *grin* Boy did it need it too!!! I feel so much happier now. Its amazing how a little clean can make a HUGE difference!

Its good to be back though. I've missed you guys :)

I want to extend a very warm welcome to Tracey who has joined us in fatblog land :) or as Hilley puts it PRB. The best thing is that Tracey is a fellow South African!!! I'm not alone anymore!!!! yay!!! Please go and show her how nice you all are and give her a warm welcome :) She is a very funky chick and i'm sure she will be very happy to hear from you all.

I was so good with my food choices yesterday. REALLY good! I was craving everything sweet and I just didn't give in. Instead of buying a whole bag of liquorice allsorts, I bought a box of tic tacs. Instead of eating a bag of cashews, I ate a banana. It wasn't easy. I am very much in the "i'm sick so I can eat what I like" frame of mind, but I will beat it!!! One teeeny step at a time!!!

I'm still barking like a dog and am using up boxes and boxes of tissues, but i'm sure I am getting better. I just know I am!!! *bark* :) (I thought that having a wet nose meant that I was healthy) ;) hehe

Today is my grandmothers 80th birthday!! Happy Birthday Granny P :) (not like she'll read this, but still, can't hurt to share). We are going out with the family to celebrate and this will be my first night out after being stuck in bed for a LOOOONG time. It just happens to be freezing cold and windy outside (yup, we are in the throngs of yet another cold front). I shall dress very warm and make sure that i'm not out too late. But yay!! I am going to see something other than my four walls!!! I tell you one thing. I'd hate to be in prison. I think I literally would go mad.

Now i have to come up with a way to kill my liquorice allsorts craving...

Please forgive my absence over the last few days. I have been at war.

There have been many casualties but it looks as though our side might just win after all.

The opposing army is a troop of evil virusians. They are trained in guerilla warfare from the time they are born and damn they are good at it. They first disabled my body's force field (my muscles). I quickly enlisted the help of the special anti biotic forces and they managed to hold the virusians off for a while but then they were wiped out in a counter attack from the North.

Then, in a calculated attack, the virusians sabotaged my ears, my throat, my nose and my lungs. The medical infantry tried their best to help but it was of no use.

Eventually after a long battle and many casualties, I sent a messenger to the king of the Homeopatheans and he kindly sent in his troops to help. They do seem to be a strong force and have so far managed to claim back my ears and nose. They still have a fight ahead of them with the throat region and then the biggest battle of all will be to rescue the lungs in distress.

Seriously, it feels like I have been fighting in a battle for the past week. My body is weak but I can't give up. I am going to win this one!!!

On the eating front... well... lets just call that one of the biggest casualties of all *sigh* I haven't been good, I haven't been exercising and I’m not happy about it at all. What does one do when they are stuck in bed for three solid days!!! Eventually, when the pain killers stop working, I resorted to ice cream to soothe my throat (yeah I know, good excuse huh). Sucking sweets helped too... So did the oven chips etc etc etc... booooohooooooo

I am back at work today. If I feel like shit I am going home but hopefully all will be okay. I do honestly feel like I am getting better now. I am GOING TO BE better by the weekend!!! I am I tell ya!!!

*The smoke on the battle field is now lifting. we see our heroine running off into the sunset. Coughing and spluttering more like it.*

Thanks so much for all the get well wishes :)

Would anyone out there be interrested in doing a body swap? Just for a little while? I'm kind of giving up on mine. It doesn't like me anymore and to be perfectly honest, I am starting to dislike it too. Instead of recovering from my evil nasty virus, I am getting new symptoms. I am sure that I now have an ear infection on top of everything else. I am allowed to sulk okay!!!!

To make things worse (and please no one kill me because I am very angry at myself for this), I got a terrible dizzy spell just after lunch time and I figured that my blood sugar level must have dropped so I ate a chocolate!!!!! *weeeep* I still can't believe I did that. That was the old Beee sneaking back in my moment of weakness. But, whats done is done and I will stick to veggie soup for dinner. The dizzy spell didn't even go away (hence my thought that I must have an ear infection).

But the chocolate was kinda nice ;) NOOOOOOOO it wasn't!!! bad me!!! *slap* - this is basically what is going on in my head right now... I am trying not to get involved ;)

Being sick really is a waste of precious time. I am going to go on strike. I am even skipping my pottery class tonight because I just feel so crappy!!! yes, it is that bad... moan moan moan.

It amazes me how bad, rainy weather brings out the worst in drivers. My poor brother, just bought himself a car about 3 weeks ago and some stupid idiot drove into it (while he was parked in a parking lot) and they didn't even leave a note!!! I can't understand how people can live with themselves after doing something like that. Rude I tell you! Thankfully it is only a smallish dent and can be fixed quite easily, but still. I'd never be able to do that. My conscience would definately get the better of me. Do you find it easy to tell lies?
I do tell the odd white lie, I admit it. I am human. But I find it very difficuilt to lie in general.

I personally think that not being able to lie is a good quality to have. But it has landed me in some embarrassing situations.

I have no idea how I got to that topic... must be my virus. Thats the one good thing about being sick.. you get to blame your strange actions on it. :) Oh, and you get to cough and breathe on nasty people *evil grin*

Did you know that when you have a cough, you shouldn't cough into your hand!!! You should use the inside of your elbow instead. Much more hygenic. It does look a little odd though. And makes it hard to type...

So, yip, thats your lesson for today. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I left work at lunch time yesterday. I was feeling pretty crappy and went home to have a good sleep. I don't think I have ever slept this much before in my whole life!!! But to be totally honest... I am loving every second of it. Not the sick part, just the being able to sleep guilt free part. I even had more than 9 hours sleep last night!!! And thankfully, no horrible dreams :) I am one of those people who feels guilty for sleeping in because I could be at gym, at the shops, cleaning my house etc...

I am very sure that this is my body letting me know (in a big big way) that it needs a break and that maybe, just maybe I have been a little too hard on it. I have been pushing myself extra hard at the gym and with my dieting. But I REALLY want to look amazing at my brothers wedding. I also REALLY want to be at (or below) goal by my 30th. So I have a lot of work to do. But yes, I am listening to my poor abused body and I am not doing any exercise until I feel 100% again.

Thanks for all the well wishes :)

I have a mountain of work to catch up on today. So I best get started. I hope everyone has a GREAT day!!

So, I went into the weekend feeling super positive but still tired. I put the tiredness down to my new exercise routine. However, on Saturday I started feeling even more tired and miserable. By Saturday night I was aching all over and didn't have any energy. On Sunday morning I woke up with a headache to rival an earth quake and my body felt like it had taken one hell of a beating. My lungs were burning and in general I wasn't a pretty sight.

So I dragged my sorry ass to the doctor (that in itself is a miracle - I HATE going to doctors). After sitting patiently in the waiting room for almost two hours, the doc called me in. He did his little examination and I ended up walking out of his rooms with a bag full of medication (including an anti biotic which he hardly ever prescribes unless you REALLY need it) and strict orders not to do ANY exercise for at least a week. *booohoooo*

I spent the rest of Sunday asleep and the whole of yesterday too and to be honest, I’d so LOVE to be asleep right now. Yip, I am well and truly feeling sorry for myself.

I think the medication is giving me horrible nightmares. I had a terrible nightmare this morning which woke me with a shock at about 3am. I couldn't get back to sleep after that because it was so disturbing and so real! I hate dreams like that and often wonder what on earth is going on in the deepest darkest creases of my brain. Where do we come up with these dreams? And why do some of them feel so real? I am still very upset from that horrible nightmare. I won't bore you with the detail and to be honest, I would rather not remember it at all ;) At least I woke up and I know it was all a dream. whew.

I also got myself into a panic last night. You see, when I was 20 I started getting really bad stomach aches. They got worse and worse until I finally went to see my doctor. She thought that it must be a spastic colon so she sent me off for tests. not a spastic colon. 
She then thought it was an ulcer, sent me off for tests. not an ulcer. Everything that she  thought it could possibly be, it wasn't. So one day I was in agony and I went to see her and she suggested that I go and speak to a psychologist. I was speechless! I knew the pain was real and the fact that she thought I was making it all up was shocking.

Two days later I was in so much pain that I couldn't move or sit still. I was rushed to hospital and after a week of tests they found that I had a blood clot in the vein that goes from my liver to my stomach. So I was piled into an ambulance and rushed off to another hospital and put into the High Care unit. They put me on Heparin (an uber blood thinning medication) and monitored me for another week. I was only 20, it was my first time ever in hospital and it was very very scary. I remember my first night in the High Care unit. I looked around and most of the other patients seemed to be on deaths door. How on earth did I land up there? I started to cry and of course managed to set off all the alarms on the machines that I was hooked up to. The nurses came rushing from all directions only to find me sitting there with tears streaming down my face. At least I can laugh at it now ;) But back to my story.

Last night, I had the most horrible stomach pains. I think it might be a reaction to the anti biotics or something I ate but I honestly thought that I had the clot again. 9 years on and I still panic about it :( I actually have barely even thought about the clot for a long long time, so why worry about it now? My mind is a mess.

Oh the joys of being sick.

So, I hope I haven’t depressed you all too much with this post. But I had to share ;)

 

I am oficially exhausted! I don't know why. I have been feeling like this the whole week and I just need a day to chill and sleep. I woke up yesterday morning thinking "yay, its the weekend I can go back to sleep" but then two seconds later my alarm started blaring and I realized with a shock that it was, in fact, Thursday! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the injustice of it all... So I grumpily dragged my tired body out of bed. I had given myself the day off gym because I have been pushing myself really hard lately and I had a late night on Wed, thank goodness for that. I think I would have collapsed in a heap if I had gone to gym. The rest of the day was much the same. I had to literally drag my body everywhere. Even pottery was a chore last night. Yip, thats how bad it was.

Today is much better. I am still extremely tired but not nearly as bad as yesterday. At least its Friday :) And because I have now quit going to ww meetings I get to sleep in a little later tomorrow :) I don't actually have anything in particular to get up for *grin* I don't remember the last time I had a day off!!! I am so excited. Knowing me however, I will wake up super early and keep myself awake thinking of all the things I could be doing.

I was chatting to my friend / walking partner yesterday on our lunch time walk. I was saying how proud I am of myself for finally getting my health and fitness in order. Especially now, as I enter my 30's. Quite a few of my friends are still carrying on as if they were 19. Eating badly, not exercising etc. I can see their bodies changing gradually and it isn't pretty. Most of them are very aware of their weight gain or lack of fitness and yet they don't seem to want to change.

I know I shouldn't judge them but I feel great knowing that I will be thin and fit while the rest of the 30 something world isn't. *evil grin*
Am I selfish? NO. I don't think I am. I deserve to be healthy and fit because I am working damn hard on it.

If someone came to me 2 and a half years ago and told me that i'd be gymming every day, cycling in races, RUNNING etc! I would have finished chewing my cheese burger, taken a sip of my chocolate milk shake and laughed in their face.
 
I had completely given up on myself and then *BAM* my life changed forever. I often try and figure out what exactly brought on the change in me. I honestly can't say what it was. I just don't know but I don't really care either :) I am just so happy that my mind did change. I know that I will NEVER EVER go back to the way I was. Sure, I do slip up every now and then. Mostly due to PMS ;) But then I pick myself up again and point myself in the right direction.

There are definately parts of my life that I am not 100% happy with. Like having to go to bed early so that I can wake up for gym the next morning. It has kind of killed my social life. But I allow myself one night during the week to go out and then I give myself the day off gym the following day. (As long as I walk at lunch time) ;) And not wanting to eat out at certain restaurants because I know that it will just kill my points for the day and put me off course. But sometimes I have to bite the bullet and just deal with it. Life happens and I am learning to adjust.

I still have a long way to go to get to where I feel happy with my body.
For now however, I am proud of myself. I am working bloody hard and actually seeing the results.
My body is changing almost every day. I still get thrills when I catch a glimpse of my collar bone sticking out, or my arms starting to tone :)

Yip folks. There is definately hope for us all. We just have to work hard and keep going.

Have a great weekend, be safe and STAY FOCUSED.

So, my blog has been a little sick of late. A big thanks to Kathryn who pointed this out to me. I just thought that you guys didn't love me anymore ;) Well, maybe you do, maybe you don't but I need my blog dammit.
 
So, it is all fixed now thanks to the amazing nj. *big sigh of relief*

As you know I have been exercising up a storm and because of this, my hunger levels seem to be going up and up and up. I am eating very healthy and sticking to my points but sometimes when you've got to eat, you've GOT TO EAT!!!

I had a bit of a moment yesterday afternoon on my way out of the office. I stepped into the lift (elevator) and there were two other people there. So we did the stare at the roof, floor, walls, buttons, door thing and all seemed to be going okay - until my stomach let out a huge big enormous LOUD growl!!! I gave a little cough and shuffled my feet nd then I glanced back at the wall in the hope that the other people in the lift would follow my "clear" line of thinking and would assume that the growl came out of the wall. You never know what lurks behind those things in dodgy lifts...  Needless to say that when we reached the basement, the other two lift occupants raced out of there as if their lives depended on it.
I am thinking of speaking to the building manager about those strange noises... I mean we have to think of our safety you know!!!

It made me think of a few other strange lift (elevator) experiences that I’ve had in the past and one in particular came to mind. I was 19 years old and it was my first time ever overseas. I was in Israel, working at a youth hostel in Tel Aviv. This youth hostel was a great place to meet people and I was having a ball. To get up to the dorms, you had to ride in a VERY dodgy lift that could only carry two people at a time. There was a strict rule that no more than two people were ever allowed in it. So one night, a friend of mine and myself were on our way out and we stepped into the lift. Just as the doors were closing though, two BIG guys jumped in after us. So, the lift started its decent and just kept going. We ended up being very very stuck below the ground floor. Now, as I am sure you can imagine, the lift was extremely small. And having four large adults in there wasn't fun. To add insult to injury, the escape hatch was welded shut and there was absolutely no way out. There wasn't even an alarm bell to ring :( I happen to be quite claustrophobic too. So I closed my eyes and did some meditation (or tried really really hard to). After almost an hour of being stuck in that horrible confined space, someone came to rescue us. And as we all piled out, we were informed that we all had to leave the hostel that night and I subsequently lost my job. So, what we ended up doing instead was going out for drinks until the sun came up and that was the end of that story :)

So, from now on I think I will stick to the stairs. They are much safer and there is less chance of the walls growling at you.

Woweee what a weekend. I feel like i've run a marathon and more :) Well technically I did half a cycle race...

I did a 53km (33 mile) bike ride on Sunday. It took us just under 2 and a half hours. Its my first "real" cycle since the beginning of winters so I was quite impressed with myself. I did struggle quite a bit going up hill and I had to have a word with my legs every now and then because they just weren't listening to me. But overall it was a GREAT ride and I survived :) In fact, I felt amazing afterwards. Today I am still walking so its a good sign too. Next Sunday we are planning on doing a 75km ride. eeeeeeeeeek.

I know I am a LOT fitter then i've ever been in my whole life, But I am really not that fit in the big scheme of things. My lungs were burning during and after my bike ride and I had a very phlemy cough for most of the day. It upset me quite a bit because I honestly thought I was much fitter. I know that with practice I will get there though. I still felt great!!! And yes, it was worth it.

I went to ww on Saturday and lost another 800grams, that brings me to just on 6kg's lost altogether (13lbs) in 10 weeks. I am really happy with how things are going. Yes, it is going VERY slowly. but I am still on track and going according to my plan. When i re-joined ww I paid for 8 weeks upfront and they came to an end this weekend. I am seriously considering going solo again. I am pretty much doing this by myself at the moment anyway (I never stay for meetings and I am better at motivating myself then my team leader). I am also going according to my home scales weight, am super super motivated and I don't think it will effect me too much. At least it will save me a bit of much needed money too.

I think I have lost the ability to socialize. I went to a colleagues daughter's 2nd birthday party yesterday. It was more of a lunch for all my colleagues friends (there were only 5 kids there). But I found myself sitting very quietly in the corner for most of the day. I did try make an effort to chat to people. But I didn't do very well. Why do some people seem to walk into a room and immediately be able to chat to everyone and look so at home? More important, why can't I? I don't think that i've always been this "shy". I don't consider myself as being shy. But I think I am. hehe
I really want to meet new people and expand my social circle, but at this rate I am doomed. How does a 30 something person meet people?

 

So, this morning I woke up about ten minutes before my alarm went off. Thats about 4:35am. (I use my cell phone / mobile as an alarm clock) So I stretched and rolled over and turned on my bed side lamp. Nothing. So I figured that maybe my electricity had gone out.
I climbed out of bed and opened the curtains only to see nothing. It was pitch pitch dark outside. The moon did help a bit but I realized that this was a power failure in the whole suburb :( I figured that there was enough moon light to see a bit and I had the light from my cell phone too. So I got dressed into my gym clothes but then just as I was putting on my shoes, it dawned on me that the basement, where my car is parked, would be totally pitch dark. AND I wouldn't be able to open the gate. There is a 24 hour security guard on duty, but I know for a fact (having left for gym at that time pretty much every morning) that he most probably would be sleeping and i'd more then likely give him a heart attack. This did not make me happy. Waking up at that time isn't the easiest thing to do and when I can't even go to gym.. well... *sigh*

Anyway, I decided to just climb back into bed and try to snooze for another hour.

I was all psyched up for my brand new training routine that the lovely Kyra helped me concoct. BUT there is always tomorrow :)

I also had a bit of a revelation in the shower this morning (must be my new shampoo). My revelation dear friends is, wait for it.... Life Happens!!
Yip. I know it is very deep and meaningful and its a lot to take in so early on a Thursday morning. But yes. Life certainly does happen.

To me, this means that I must stop being so hard on myself if I miss a day or two of gym. Or if I go out and have a meal that brings me a couple of points over my total. I can't put my life on hold until these 15 or so kg's vanish. I know that I will lose the weight. I am losing the weight. Some weeks might just be a little slower then others. This is a life long commitment on my part, so why get annoyed with myself? It just adds unnecessary stress to my already chaotic existence. :) So, from today I am going to do my best to be nicer to me. So what if I wake up at the crack of dawn, before the birds have even started chirping, only to find that I have no electricity... so what if I am all psyched up for gym and something stops me going. There is always tomorrow!!! (yes, I am repeating myself lots). So what!!! :)

Incedentally, my electricity came back on at exactly 5:50am. And bizarrely the birds started chirping at exactly that same instant. It was very surreal. What is even stranger is that I had been using the moon light to help me see when I first woke up. After my shower, I got dressed, made my bed, opened my curtains to see that the sky was totally overcast!!! Bizarre. I am starting to think that the powers that be were having a little fun this morning at my expense :)

So what!!!! *grin*

So, I can't wait to see what this working day holds for me. What other surprises are out there...

Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode...

I am not a happy person today. I've had a dodgy stomach for the last 3 days and enough is enough!!! grrrr The worst part is that it hasn't stopped me eating.. ho hum. Will just have to keep popping those pills I guess.

I did manage to go to gym this morning which i'm happy about. I'm not sure if it was a wise idea but I NEEDED it. However, I now feel like i've been hit in the stomach by a very large stick. pills!!! give me pills!!!

I'm loving my new heart rate monitor, I find that it makes me want to push myself that little bit more so that I am in the fat burning zone ALL the time :) I'm so glad I bought it.

Tomorrow is a public holiday for us S'Africans :) YAY!!! I love public holidays. I am hopefully going to be able to go on a very long bike ride BUT that depends on the weather (which has been very icy lately). Otherwise i'll just go shopping and spend more money that I don't have :) yay!!!

Excuse me if i'm a bit quiet for the next couple of days but I have a MOUNTAIN of work to get through and I am trying to be good and not blog too much :) Things should be back to normal by next week though.

Yesterday at lunch time, I went with a friend of mine to a factory outlet store that was having a HUGE watch sale. It was one of the best sales i've been to :) They had some amazing bargains. I ended up only buying myself one prezzie but its a good one!!!

It's a Nike Triax C6 heart rate monitor / watch :) I've never had a heart rate monitor before and I am hoping it will help me to push myself further and further in my exercise. Yay. I just have to figure out how to use the darn thing.

I am having issues with myself at the moment. For some reason I feel very bloated and fat. Its not TOM (that has come and gone) and I can't actually find any reason for it. I am also creeping up slightly on the scales and it is really upsetting me. This morning I weighed in at 85kg!!! :( I am supposed to be 83 or under by now.. This is bad.

So I was all grumpy and feeling sorry for myself and then I took a look at my tracker for this week. I have gone over my points almost every day!!! It is only by about 2 or so points but the fact is that it is OVER!! That is bad! What is going on with me?? I could blame the cold weather, or I could blame the war, or I could blame the guy sitting next to me. But if i'm honest with myself. It is all me. I have to pull myself towards myself (love that saying) and slap myself in the face and get back into it. Enough is enough!!! Why am I doing this to myself? I have been doing so so well and I am on track and now this?? It is very strange. I am not going to go to ww tomorrow. I know this is probably wrong of me but I do NOT want two gains in a row. I am going to use this week to get myself back into gear and mark my words. Next week I WILL lose weight!!!

So, my game plan for today is to not have any milky drinks (tea, coffee, light hot chocolate) and stick to the herbal teas. I am going to eat VERY slowly and concentrate on what i am eating. I am going to be so focused this weekend too. Last weekend was BAD. I lost the plot and I haven't really gotten it back. So this weekend i'm being really tough on myself.

I can't undo all the good that I have done. No way! grrrrrrrrr

On another completely different note. I bought myself a pedometer two weeks ago (just before the 10km walk). It is linked to my medical aid and for every 1000 steps I take, I get points (which earn me discounts on things etc... ) So, I had just about accumulated 70 000 steps, (I was about 1000 steps away) and then last night I got home, took the pedometer off and glanced at it only to see that the stupid thing had reset itself!!! Oh the injustice in this world!!!! *sniff*

So, today is a new day for my self control, diet and steps :) Aren't I lucky (yes, that was slightly sarcastic).

So guys, have a GREAT weekend and STAY FOCUSED!!!!!! I for one am going to do just that!!

****LATER****

omg guys!! I am so so so proud of myself right now *grin*. Our boss decided that he wants to buy us lunch today. They have chosen to get Italian (pizza / pasta etc). They sent a menu around and I decided that I am going to stick with my home made salad and not get Take Aways!!! omg!! I am still in shock!!! Go me!!!! They had salads on the menu but nothing appealed to me (I think I may have a fever) teehee

*brrrrr* *shiver* IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!!!! I think today is probably the coldest its been ALL winter!!! *sniff* I want summer!!! *stomp* I want it NOW!!! *stomp, stomp* - Did you know that throwing a virtual tantrum actually warms you up??? Yeah, total rubbish hehe.. its all in the mind.

Firstly, thanks for all your comments from my last entry. I feel a lot better now, knowing that I am probably not quite that mad yet. I will continue to enjoy living by myself and my own company :) yay!!! So, I'm having a big party at my house this weekend but only I am invited!!! teeheeee (sorry, the cold is effecting my brain today). Oh, and Kyra, i'd love to get my brothers to set me up with their friends, HOWEVER I am six years older then they are. If the age gap was a bit narrower it might be an option ;) Who knows, one day when i'm a loony old bat I might consider a toy boy mmmmm *ponder*. 

Did I mention how cold it is today?

Okay, I need some help from you guys. I am the maid of honour at my brothers wedding and I get to throw the bridal shower :) Does ANYONE have any good ideas for me? I was in charge of my sisters bridal shower 4 years ago and it was really fun. But I don't want to do the same things at this one because half of the guests would have been at my sisters shower. I can't do the stripper thing because the bride-to-be is quite conservative and so are her family and I don't actually enjoy the whole stripper thing. But I do want everybody to have fun and to take part. There is nothing worse then going to a bridal shower and sitting there bored out of your mind while the bride-to-be gets embarrassed and treated like a 2 year old. I want EVERYBODY to have fun. So, i'm throwing it out to you guys in the hope that someone, somewhere can help me :) hehe
I was thinking of doing something with a medical theme. My sister-in-law-to-be is studying medicine. What do you think of that?

Time to go and jump up and down to get warm. *bounce* *jump* *crash* *ouch*

*****UPDATE*****

Its SNOWING in parts of Johannesburg!!! omg!!! it NEVER snows here!!! Thats how bloody cold it is today!!! I definately won't be doing my lunchtime walk today... woweeee

Well, they say that August is the windy month but WOW it is blowing a gale out there!!! We are in the throngs of a cold front and it is getting pretty chilly outside. Good thing i'm stuck inside all day ;) hehe

Today is my 1 year anniversary at my job! Yay me!! woohoooo!!! *bounce* *jump* *skip* I seriously can't believe how fast this year has gone. So much has happened and I have changed so much too. One of the best things to happen to me though, was discovering the exciting world of blogging. I am almost certain that if I hadn't been blogging and didn't have all your support and encouragement, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have. So a big thank you :)

I just got myself a nice, hot, skinny cuppuccino to celebrate!! Cheers!!! mmmmm coffee... mmmmmm

I heard through the grapevine that our boss is going to be doing our appraisals this month. This means that I will hopefully *holding thumbs* get a bit of a raise in my salary. I think that I will wait on the car thing until I find out if and how much more I will be coming out with each month. It might be enough to get me a much nicer, newer car :) So send positive vibes please.

I have noticed that I seem to be very short tempered lately. I don't know if I can put this down to getting older, or maybe I am just tired, or who knows. But what scares the hell out of me, and this is one of my biggest fears, is that I don't want to be a lonely old grouchy cow. I don't want to be single forever and become the crazy, snappy aunt.

I was chatting with my brothers the other day. The one who is getting married has just signed a lease on his first ever appartment, he is very excited to be moving out. They were saying to me that they don't know how I can enjoy living alone. But I really do. I love having all that space to myself and to be able to totally relax in my own home. I have done the house share thing many times before and all I ever wanted was a place of my own. Is this normal? Or do I have "crazy old lady" syndrome?

I don't have a million cats yet ;) I don't even have a gold fish, so I think I am okay so far. Just keeping my plants alive at the moment is a full time job. If I do get lonely or need some company, I either call up a friend, or I go visit my family. So I don't see myself as being alone at all. I haven't, as yet, told one child to go and brush his hair, so I think there is hope for me still. Maybe I should start going on more blind dates :)

So, if you think that my ramblings are looking a bit on the grouchy, scary, loony side, please let me know so that I can book myself in for some shock therapy before its too late! ;)

Happy Tuesday!!!  

Well, I did the car dealership tour on Saturday morning and can honestly say that I have now come up with the best possible way to waste a Saturday morning :) It was mostly my fault because I thought I was being clever by driving to the other side of Johannesburg to a road where I was sure I remembered a whole heap of car dealerships... however this wasn't to be. Well, there were a lot of dealerships but they were mostly BMW, Mini, Ferrari etc... get the idea? ;) Just slightly out of my budget. But its okay because I am not in a hurry and I will find the BEST deal for me :) yay!!!

WW wasn't too good either on Saturday. I put on 400grams. However being TOM didn't actually help and the fact that I wasn't totally, 100% good last week. SO I am back with a vengeance today!!! I went to gym and did 50 min of intense cardio! I am going to do my 45min lunchtime walk and get back into this properly. One bad week is okay though. I spent most of the weekend beating myself up about it and then came to realize that I was just being stupid and I have to be easier on myself sometimes. Life happens and I will get weeks like that. So what. As long as I pull myself together and get back into it. :) Also, I think i'm still on my runners high so it really helps too!!!

Ooh ooh I also went cycling again on Sunday morning. *grin* I haven't been for MONTHS!!! However, I think it is still a bit too cold to go so early in the morning. I went with my brothers. We left at 7am and I honestly think I had a mild case of hypothermia by the time we got home. It was quite painful and uncomfortable but I mostly enjoyed being on the road again :) I am very out of practice though. I have to get into it again ASAP because the big race is in November and I HAVE to better last years time. I am a lot more fit in general, but my legs need some work and I have to get on the road more. I think that my bicycle was happy :) I think it thought I had abandoned it.

So, before I ramble on more about nothing much :) Let me get started with work (or rather, go get some tea). I hope you are all having a great Monday :)

 

*NB please read this post as if you are Sir David Attenborough ;)

Good morning folks, today I want to talk about Steriotypes. Specifically in the motor sales industry. Yup, the car salesman.

Never have I come across such a typical steriotype as this. I truly do not believe that there is an honest one out there! It is quite fascinating to observe these creatures in their natural habitat. They stalk their prey with a precision like no other. Then they pounce! The unsuspecting prey walks away totally unaware that they have just committed to buying a car that is way out of their league or way below what they could be getting.

Fascinating!

I have been getting numerous phone calls from various car dealers throughout the week. It is incredible how the same car, same specs and similar mileage can have such different prices and deals to go with it.

I test drove the Opel this week (I have already mentioned this in a previous post) but one thing that amazed me was how the salesman worked. I wanted to test the air conditioner to see how the car drove with it on. And when I had been driving for a little while, I commented on how weak the air con was. His answer to that was "yes, it is so much nicer then in other cars because it is so gentle and doesn't hurt your skin" teehee how sad! I LOVE strong / "skin hurting" air condioning in summer, why else would I want one???

The one thing I can't stand about these car salesmen is that they don't EVER take no for an answer. They won't accept that you truly aren't interested, or really can't afford that top of the range car that costs more then a small under developed country in the middle of nowhere.

So, the weekend is almost upon us and I am about to venture once again into the territory of the lesser-spotted car dealer.  Wish me luck folks. If i'm not back by Monday, please send a search party for me.

Start your engines!!! Stay Focused!!! And have fun!!!

I've been quite slack with ww this week. i haven't actually been THAT bad, however I feel rather guilty about being slack even though its not really slack and its mostly in my head... (does that make sense?)

I am also realizing that I have issues (duh).

Take last night for example. I had only used 18 of my 22 points by the time I had eaten dinner, so I had a cup of ice cream as a PMS treat ;) and then I tasted a block of this new dark chocolate that my dad had bought. Now, I only really went over my points by 1, but yet I feel so guilty and angry at myself for being so weak!!! How bizarre am I!

The thing is, I want to be as strict and focused as humanly possible until November as I am trying so hard to lose a big bulk of weight by then. And having treats like this just doesn't fall into my plan. But the sad part is, is that they aren't cheats.. they are actually allowed and fall pretty much into my points for the day... So why am I freaking out so much?

I also had a fruit smoothie on Tuesday at lunch time. I calculated that it was only about 3 points for the whole thing but I was sure that I had made a BIG mistake and it was a lot more!

I often find myself doing this. I'll make a delicious meal for dinner, it will work out to be about 5 points (for example) and yet I will convince myself that something that tastes that good, and is that filling, can't possibly only be 5 points so i'll make it 8 just to be safe. If I am unsure of the points value for just about anything, I will find something similar and add some more to the value...

Does anyone else do this?

I really NEED to be back at gym so that I don't feel quite as guilty.
My leg feels normal today :) I haven't even got a slight limp. So I'll get back to gym tomorrow (hopefully). I have actually been enjoying this week of sleeping till 6 :) But I feel all bloated and fat and NEED my exercise.

I sneaked a peak at the scale this morning, it wasn't pretty... But it is TOM in a big way so I will just pretend that it never happened. So you didn't read this... shhhh

Well, I am almost not limping today. I have been coating my leg in Voltaren Gel and taking loads of anti spasm medication and I can definately feel a huge difference. But I still can't run, cycle or walk :( I know I should be doing upper body exercises but I just can't be bothered getting up and going to gym at the crack of dawn when I can't even run. It just doesn't feel right. So I have become very lazy and grumpy :) I know I will be fine by the weekend (if i'm not I will make myself be fine...) I guess a rest is not necessarily a bad thing.

I've got this friend. She is a very good friend of mine but lately I find myself coming up with all sorts of excuses as to why I don't want to go out with her. She is one of those people who feels that they have to look for something to complain about, otherwise it isn't a successful evening. Last night I went for sushi with this friend, her husband, kids and another couple. They have an eat as much as you want special at this restaurant and both she and her husband told the waiter that they would be eating the special. I didnt' take it for obvious reasons ;) They fed both their kids off the special without paying extra (which the restuarant are usually good at overlooking). But then at the end of the meal, she saw that she didn't have nearly enough sushi to warrant having the special so she told them that she didnt' order it.

I feel that it is so rude!!! Then she kicked up a big fuss that they had charged her for some of the extras that the kids had and ended up paying vertually nothing for her meal. Every time I go out with them there is an issue. I am a VERY non confrontational person but honestly I just don't like feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable anymore. I feel bad about coming up with excuses all the time but what am I supposed to do? I can't actually bring this topic up with this friend because she WILL take it to heart and I don't want to cause problems over it.

At least I can get it off my chest here ;) So thanks for listening (AGAIN).

Oh and yes, I think I am very pmsy at the moment so that would explain the mood too. hehe I'm not sure what my body is doing to me but I have had pms for a whole week!!! I hate hormones!!!

Yesterday I got to test drive the car that I am thinking of buying. It is a lovely little car but I honestly feel that if I am going to be spending that kind of money and tying myself to it for 5 years, I would rather move up in the world and not just side ways. You see the car is very similar to the one that I have now. The only differences is that it has aircon, power steering and is brand new. But it is still a bottom of the range car. I can't afford something better just yet but my plan of action is to start saving the amount of money that I was planning on spending each month on this new car and seeing if I can actually afford to spend it each month. And in that way I will also be building a little savings for when I am 100% ready to buy something. :) I just hope that my current car doesn't die on me in the meantime.

So, I am going to go now and wallow in my pms self pity pit.. hehe Sounds so nice doesn't it ;) Actually I am going to go and snap out of this pms self pity whatever it is I have. *snap* Aaah much better!!! teeheee

Hope you are all having a great day.

I had quite a busy weekend! It started on a very good note with me losing yet another kg at ww on Saturday morning *grin* I have now lost 5.4kg in 7 weeks!!! Not too shabby if I do say so myself :) teeheee

After ww I went with my dad to look at cars. I might be buying myself a brand new little Opel, but I still want to look around a bit more and see if I can do better. It is an old shape but has Aircon and power steering which are two BIG bonuses. I can't get nearly as much as I had hoped for my current car so i'll have to have a good think before I decide.

On Sat night I went to see "Break Up". It was really good and very funny! You should definately go see it, especiall  if you want a light hearted movie.

Sunday was the big 10km fun walk. It really was fun and I had a great time. The only problem is that last night I started feeling a tightness in the back of my leg and by this morning I can hardly move it :( I think I have strained a muscle or something and I am NOT happy!!! I think it's my ham string or my calf, or both *weep* I did go to gym this morning (which I think was a HUGE mistake) but I only cycled for 20 min to warm up and then did upper body stuff. So I don't think it was THAT bad!!! I am going to go to the chemist at lunch time to get some deep heat or something that will help soothe it. Anybody got a quick fix for me?

Here are some pics from the walk!! :)

There were 9 of us who went together (10 if you include Dusty). Very squashed car!!!

There were over 30000 people walking and LOTS of doggies (Big and small)...

There I am!!! The race was called "Walk the Talk" (sponsored by a radio station) I think my brother was taking the talking part very seriously!!!

We all got medals, my Dad, brother and me, even Dusty got one!! I have no idea who the guy waving in the background is...

I know i've already posted for today and it is VERY rare for me to post twice but I just have to share the most bizarre events that has forever changed my normal every day lunch time walk!!!

Firstly, I walk with a colleague of mine who is muslim. She wears the whole scarf etc... So, there we are, walking along our normal route and there is this Arabic looking man walking his dogs on the other side of the road. He shouts the arabic greeting to my friend and she responded. Next thing he is angrily shouting at her in arabic, so she told him that she doesn't speak it. He then said "Aren't you a muslim?" and she said "yes" (duh, she is wearing the scarf for fun NOT), then he starts saying how rude she is to not respond in the correct arabic way etc.. I mean how rude is that!!!! What a dick!!! So we hurridly walked away hoping he wasn't following us (which he wasn't).

Then, a little further along the road we hear swearing and cursing coming from behind us so we turn to see a very angry cyclist cycling along the road. I think he must have just had a near accident or something but WOW, the words coming out of that guys mouth!!! hehe.

THEN not much further along the same road, I hear shouting behind me "wait!, wait!" so we turn AGAIN and this time, there is a very fat little old black lady running towards us. I was like WTF??? She catches up with us and is all out of breath and pulls out her wallet. So, out of her wallet she pulls a piece of paper. So I thought, oh no, she is going to
a) ask for money,
b) try and scam us, or
c) ask for directions

(yes, the first two are very negative thoughts but this is Johannesburg after all) BUT it was none of the above!!! On her piece of paper is a crossword puzzle question that she had written down. teeheee She told me that she was working on a puzzle and needed the name of a rodent, that stores food in its mouth with 7 letters in the name!!! HOW BIZARRE IS THAT!!! I couldn't think of the name at the time.. kept thinking Chipmonk, Squirrel etc... Can you think of it?

scroll down...

Got it yet? ...

Okay i'll put you out of your misery. It is a Hamster!!! But I didn't think in time and the poor lady went off on her way and I went mine... But before she went away she said to me in all seriousness... "But I thought because you are a white person that you would know the answer"... Gota love this country ;) teeheee

Well, as you can see, my day has improved and I hope it will continue to do so.

Can't wait to see what surprises there are on our next walk... 

Today has not started off well at all... I didn't go to gym because I just couldn't get up this morning. But thats okay, one or two days of rest are probably good in the long run.
But then I left for work just before 7am, I got into my car, started the engine and put my foot on the clutch, put it into first and the car just started going by itself. My foot was still on the clutch. So i took my foot off but the clutch didn't pop back out... Anyway, I managed to get my car out of the basement parking of my flat and into the street. I stopped the car and tried to start it again and it just shot foward. So I managed to pull over to the side of the road and I phoned my dad. I also burst into tears because I just can't handle something big going wrong with my stupid piece of junk of a car every single month!!! Every time I catch up with my finances, something else goes wrong and completely clears me out. *weep*

Anyway, I phoned my dad and he came all the way from his house to help me out and lo and behold the car went perfectly. I hate bloody Murpheys law!!! grrrr So now I am all grumpy and stressed. I have to get the piece of shit car to the mechanic ASAP coz I am SURE that it is something big and I don't want to be driving on my own at night and then it does this to me again...

I also broke my promise this morning and I sneaked a weigh in.. It was all good but I feel kinda guilty :) At least I lasted 4 days... Next week i'll make it till Saturday again. FYI it was 84.5kg :)

I just checked the weather for the week and Sunday is supposed to be freezing cold!!! I am doing this 10km walk on Sunday.. eeek... Oh well I will hopefully get warmed up quickly. I got my race pack yesterday *grin* I love those things. They are full of so much junk but it's all free!!! woohoooo I love free stuff. I did get a tube of very expensive Sun Block in the pack, so that was really good!!!

I have just finished my 2nd cup of coffee and I am starting to buzz bzzzzz So i'd better get started on work. Byeeeezzzzzzzzzzzz

Oooh oooh forgot to mention that I have gone down ANOTHER notch on my belt!!! *grin* I also need to wear this belt with the one pair of jeans that I have never had to wear a belt with before. *bounce* This has made me feel MUCH happier

GOOOOD MORNING fellow bloggers (afternoon to those of you who are a few hours ahead of me).

I have a question for all of you gym fanatics out there. I have a rather annoying Bingo Wing issue (flabby bits under my arms). Now, in November it is my brothers wedding and I am a brides maid. I am wearing a sleeveless dress for the first time in my life and I HAVE to get my arms toned. So, because of this, I have been doing arm toning exercises like there is no tomorrow. HOWEVER, my arms dont' seem to be getting toned at all :( So, I saw a personal trainer standing around doing nothing at the gym today and I went to ask her opinion on my little issue.

She told me that its a myth that by working one set of muscles, you only tone those muscles. She said that when you exercise it effects the whole body and that my arms are just very slow and I have to get rid of all the fat there before I can get rid of the flab. *sigh*

What is your take on this? Do you know any cures for Bingo Wings?

I am doing a 10km fun walk this weekend :) Looking very forward to it!! It is an annual event and there are going to be thousands of people there. Maybe next year i'll be brave enough to do the 21km. I will hopefully get some pics to post soon :)

Last night I went to this market research thing. It was all about beer. Unfortunately they didn't give us any to sample but it was quite fun anyway. Some of the people who attend these things are really scary though. There was one lady, who kept talking about her personal issues instead of the beer. She was asked a question on how often she drinks a particular brand and her answer was "Well I drink Peroni very often. I used to have cancer and my husband is a minister and I now crave Castle (another brand of beer) all the time." - wtf???
The discussion was about Peroni (an Italian beer). We were all supposed to be Peroni drinkers (yes, I haven't ever tasted the stuff either) but this other lady kept going on about how she prefers German beer and only Germans know how to make beer and how the quality of anything in South Africa is terrible etc... All she was supposed to be talking about was Peroni!!! Which is from Italy!!! hehe

At least it was entertaining AND I got paid so I can now fill up my car :) *grin*

So thats it for today :) Have a good one!!

It seems my fears from last week were all for nothing :) I lost 600 grams!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!! I honestly thought I hadn't lost any weight at all, not because I was bad (which I wasn't) but sometimes I just feel fat... you know ;) I'm sure half of it is water retention and hormones.

So now I am NOT allowed to weigh myself at all until Friday or even Saturday. It makes me too anxious.

On Saturday night I had a few people over to test my shiney new wok. YUM!! It cooks beautifully and I vertually used NO OIL (only a tiny bit of spray). *grin* Everyone went back for 2nds so it must have been good. 

Tonight I am going to take part in yet another market research session. This one is on beer :) Should be fun eh ;) I love these things and they always seem to phone me when I am the most broke i've ever been. Basically you sit in a little room with a giant one way mirror on the wall. There are usually 8 - 10 people sitting around a table and we chat about a particular product or brand. This chat goes on for about 1 - 2 hours and then you get paid *grin* So easy!!! Pity I can't do it professionally.

After tonight i'll have petrol money again!!!! Boy do I need it. Has the price of petrol gone up where you are? It is sickening how much we are paying to fill our cars over here. And it goes up every month!!! *weep*

I don't think summer is ever going to come. I went to gym this morning and I really expected it to start getting light by the time I got home and it was still pitch pitch black outside. What happened to the days starting to get longer?? I think we've been tricked. I am tired of winter now!!!

So yeah, another very riveting post. Sorry ;) but it is very very early on a Monday morning!!! Hope you are having a great day!!!

I had the most bizarre dream last night and it felt too real. I hardly EVER remember my dreams but this one stuck...

I went to my ww meeting and instead of the meeting they had a huge feast. All I wanted to do was get weighed and pay for my meeting but every time I found the group leader, someone would come talk to me or something would obstruct me from getting to him. It was horrible!!! I just wanted to get weighed and pay!!! *sniff* I ended up staying for the feast, knowing that I was putting on weight with each mouthful of food. It wasn't even good food!!!

Then I woke up with the most horrible headache ever! Poor me *sulk*

Maybe my dream is telling me that my weight loss venture is turning into a bit of an obsession? But it has to be a bit of an obsession, otherwise I feel that my heart isn't 100% in it.

Maybe I am having pre pms pms?

Maybe I am drinking too much water and it is washing away my brain cells?

Who knows...

I also weighed myself this morning and i was 200 grams up again :( *sniff*
I have this fear that I won't ever get below 85! I know its crazy and I am doing so well and for me, the slower the progress the more permanent it is.. but still. I WANT to be out of the friggin 80's already!!! I am really working bloody hard on this and I want progress!!!! ARGH!!!

I know that I am weighing myself too often and from today I am going to stick to the once a week weigh in...

Its Friday, I am supposed to be in a fabulously good mood!!! I feel robbed!!! Evil subconscious!!

To all the Melbourne bloggers, have a GREAT time this weekend :)

To everyone else out there, have a super weekend and stay focused!!!

I am going to go and drink some more water, drown my brain cells a bit more and hope that this headache goes away.

 

I feel the need to write about this issue coz I am still steaming from it.

You see, there is this guy I work with. A really lovely guy, very sweet etc. HOWEVER!!! He has this totally annoying trait where he NEVER has any money on him. He is always borrowing from people and short paying the bill when we go for lunch / coffee. He owes half the company money but never EVER pays them back. And if you happen to have any form of food at your desk he will sniff it out and ALWAYS asks for some. 

I have had enough!!!

I just went for coffee with him and another colleague. He had something to eat and a coffee. The other lady and I only had a drink. So the bill comes and myself and this other lady only have big notes on us and of course this chap, lets call him mr schnoep sees this and promply puts less than both of us in the bill folder!!! So I think na a, not this time buddy! So I demanded (rather loudly) that he put in at least his share (nevermind the tip) in. He says "Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't notice because I don't have any small change on me".. So i'm like "Well then take one of the bigger notes out of your fat wallet and put that in" (okay I didn't say it like that but I did say something along those lines). So he pulls out a big note and puts it in. I mean REALLY!!! grrrrr argh grrrrr *spit* *fume* *growl*.

Right, thats off my chest so I feel better now.

Do you have any friends / colleagues like this?  How does one get through to them?? sheesh. It is making us not want to include him anymore. Another of my colleagues has started sneaking her own lunch so that he doesn't see!!! Oy vey!!

And yes, we have basically told him all this straight out but he doesn't ever learn.

So, another day and I am still at wok weight :) YES folks!! I get my wok this weekend!!! *grin* *bounce* *sizzle*

85kg 85kg 85kg wooohoooooo

My next mini goal is to reach 80kg and I get to buy myself some really nice sexy summer pyjamas!!! yay!!! I usually sleep in old baggy t-shirts and I want nice PJ's now!!!! Go me!!!!

I popped by Fatgirl's blog yesterday and her post got me thinking about how my life has changed since I started losing weight...

Firstly, I no longer have a panic attack whenever someone offers to lend me a jacket or some other item of clothing. I used to rather freeze then try and find excuses as to why I didn't fit into someone elses clothes and embarrass myself. Even lending someone an item of clothing was super stressful for me.

I am not scared to sit in an airplane seat anymore. I used to be so afraid that my fat would (and often did) bulge over onto the seat next to mine, lift up the arm rests and disturb the people on either side of me. Luckily I never got to the seatbelt extender stage but I got damn close.

I am no longer petrified to get onto an amusement park ride (depending how dangerous the ride is of course), for fear that I would be asked to get off the ride encase it breaks. Or encase I didn't fit into the seat.

I have been horse riding for the first time in my life and I wasn't scared that I would hurt the poor horse!

I can now happily hop into the back seat of a car, with two other adults and not worry about squashing them or causing the back doors to pop open ;)

I can now walk into most clothing stores and not get the (yes, there is nothing in this store that will ever fit you so keep fooling yourself) look from the sales staff. And I can now go shopping with friends and not have to pretend that all I need are shoes and accessories.

And I now feel that I have the ability to offer other people who are in the same boat as me, guidance and motivation and will hopefully help others to be where they want to be and to be in the same positive place that I am in now.

I still have a LONG way to go, but wow, I have definately come a LONG way already.  I can't wait to see how much more my life is going to change and improve from here on :)

How has your weight loss / change of attitude changed your life so far?

Now, onto a completely different topic.

I'm not sure if I mentioned my stalker before. But Just over 1 and a half years ago, I came back to South Africa after spending a year in Australia. I was just off the plane when a good friend of mine phoned to welcome me back and to ask me to go to her for dinner the following day. I used to spend a LOT of time at their house and I thought it would be great to go there and have a nice, relaxing dinner with good friends.
Anyway, it was now the next day (my 2nd day back in the country). I was rather shell shocked and still VERY jet lagged but I knew it would be an early and relaxing evening. But just before I set off to go for dinner, my friend phoned me to tell me that there would be a guy there (who they had become friends with during my absence) whom she had told all about me and he was dying to meet me. Oh dear!, there goes the relaxing evening in sloppy clothes idea.

So I arrived at their house and there was this guy, definately NOT my type but he seemed sweet enough. We had dinner and all was going well. After dinner we went to sit in the lounge to have coffee. So, this guy sits on the couch next to me. Next thing I know his hand is on my leg. (Anyone who knows me will know that I am NOT a touchy person) So I felt rather uncomfortable. Then I got up to get my cup of coffee off the table and sat back down. The guy says "Where is mine?". So I pointed to the table and said "There (you dufas)" So he says "why didn't you pass it to me", so i'm like, OMG what a dork!!! He kept going on about the coffee until I actually got up and passed it to him. (I really had to resist the urge to throw it on him).

Anyway, after what seemed like an eternity I decided to go home. It was late, I was exhausted (very very jet lagged) and I just wanted to be in my nice safe bed and asleep.

So I stood up and said "sorry for leaving so early guys, but I am very tired etc...) and this guy looks at me and says "you can't go, i'm not ready".So I told him that he didn't have to be ready because he didn't have to go anywhere. 
But he insisted that he had to follow me home because it wasn't safe for me to go on my own.
I told him that (A) I lived just around the corner and (B) I am a big girl and am perfectly capable of looking after myself. So I get up to go and he says "Well you can't go because I am parked in your way and I am not ready to leave yet". So I had to wait for the moron to finish his coffee and leave when he was ready to.

Eventually we get up to leave (he still insisted that he would follow me home). At the door, my (not so sublte) friend says (in a very loud voice, infront of us both). "I'm so glad you two finally found eachother!!!" HOLY SHIT!!! I was gob smacked. I actually was totally lost for words and just wanted to get the hell out of that twilight zone and get home.

So, this guy followed me home and I quickly drove into the driveway and closed the gate behind me (electric gate). But the guy didn't get the hint and just parked at the gate waiting for me to get out of my car. So in a huff I went up to him and said "Thanks for following me home, good night". But no, he asks me for my phone number. ARGH!!! I told him that it was a new mobile / cell phone and I didn't know my number yet. You think he'd have gotten the hint then? NOT A CHANCE!!!!

I actually cried myself to sleep that night.

The next day my friend phones me to tell me how much this evil scary guy liked me and that she gave him my number. HELP!!!

So, this guy phoned me almost ever day for over 3 months, and every day I told him that I didn't want to go for "coffee" or anywhere else and that I wasn't ready for a relationship etc. I didn't have the guts to actually tell him to fuck off :) (nicely) but I thought that he should have realized that I just wasn't interrested.
The phone calls eventually started to get less and less and after almost a year, I was finally rid of him. Well thats what I thought!!!!

Last night I am sitting at home, watching survivor when I hear a txt message coming through on my phone. I went to check it and believe it or not, its from this psycho stalker!!! It went something like "Hi, howe are you, are you still so busy at work?" WTF???

Almost two years and he is still trying??? WOW.

So I did what every normal woman would do, I ignored it :) hehe

Will I ever be rid of this idiot?

Just thought i'd share ;)

I went to ww on Saturday, I lost a wopping 1.4kgs!!! woohoooooooooooo. No, I still don't have the wok as this did bring me to 85.2kg but still, I feel so good :)

Last night I went to my friend for a bbq. I haven't been to their house for a LONG time and thus, haven't seen their other friends for an even longer time. So, it was really funny when each one of her friends walked into her house (at completely different times), looked at me, looked again, their jaws dropped and they all exclaimed how much weight i've lost *grin* I don't like to blow my own trumpet here but wow I feel so incredibly proud of myself right now and more encouraged than ever before! I don't think i've ever blushed as much. I can't wait till my sister and cousins come here in November and I can hopefully shock them even more. And mark my words! I WILL do it!

Yesterday I went to meet my mom and her friend for brunch at a shopping centre. We had a lovely meal and afterwards I went to browse around the shops. I went into one of the bigger department stores where they do make overs at the make up counter. I decided to give it a go :) I definately won't be doing that again! I think the two women at the counter were very bored and needed a little fun. I walked out of there looking very much like a clown, and I am sure that I have given a few kiddies out there some serious nightmares! When I got home I surveyed the damage and noted the lip liner that was drawn just under my nose, the speckles of maskara all around my eyes etc... hehe oh well, it was fun anyway and something different.

Its Monday again, thank God I am back in my normal routine and can't wait to see what this week holds for me.

Have a GREAT one!

I just want to say a big thank you for your comments on my last post. It really does help to know that I am not alone. It has also opened my eyes to the fact that in fatblog land, most of us have pretty much the same problems when eating at home! It is a strange phenomenon but probably not THAT strange :) I guess our eating issues had to stem from somewhere. But honestly, you have helped me a lot! I have formulated a plan!!!

The Bee's eating at home plan of action:
a) I will drink a BIG glass of water before dinner and during dinner.
b) I will make sure that I eat much much slower and concentrate on chewing my food well.
c) When I help myself to a plate of food, I will acknowledge that what I have infront of me is more than enough and I don't need to get more!
d) I will continue to tell myself that I am not in competiton with anyone to eat more than them and I am NOT going to go hungry! EVER!!!
e) If I do slip up once in a while (which I am going to make damn sure I don't), I will ensure that I go and do an extra hard workout at gym the next morning.
f) I will treat eating at my parents house as eating out and take extra care when dishing up for myself.

I'll start with that and see how I go.

Now, this morning I stepped onto the scale and I weighed in at 85.2!!! *huge grin* I am 200 grams away from my Wok!!! However, I am in two minds about this. 200 grams really isn't much. Do I take my wok now? Or should I wait until the scale says 85kg? I have been waiting so long for it!!! Working so hard BUT if I take it home now (it is in storage at my folks house), would I be cheating myself? Part of me says no and part says yes. ho hum... decisions decisions...

I went to pottery last night. I am really enjoying it so much! It is one of the best forms of therapy I have ever done! It just takes away all my stress and worries for 3 hours and then I get to go home at the end with something really nice!

BUT (yes, always a but),there is a dark side to pottery. Actually its the story of my life ;) You see, there are 14 of us in the class and each week one of us brings a light dinner (Rolls, tomato, cheese etc). Now this is all good and well but I have been noticing that almost every time I get food, there are a few of the younger girls in the class (younger being older then me but younger then the 60 somethings), who look closely at what I am eating and seem to whisper and snigger amongst themselves. 
Part of me thinks that this is all in my head but the rest of me thinks that this is real and totally bizarre. Why would they want to whisper and snigger about me? What have I done? I don't take a lot of food. I never eat the chocolates and cookies that they bring... *wrings hands nervously*
I do know that they are all friends (about 5 of them) and they are all designers and often freelance together. Maybe they feel threatened by my "new" blood? Yes, I have been going to pottery for a few months already but I am still very new. Most of them have been there for a good few years.

But then again, I often tend to think that people are judging me by what I eat (at parties, restaurants, weddings etc). I feel very self conscious when I eat in public. Yes yes, it all stems from my past... 
So perhaps this pottery thing is all in my head.
I would like to think though that I am not going batty ;) hehe

I think I am going to write a book called "Ingesting the paranoid pancake" Thats me! mmm quite an odd title... but it works!!!

Now, please stop sniggering amongst yourselves and get back to work!!!  

Happy weekend folks and STAY FOCUSED!!!! (just not on me and my food)

As you probably know, I am in a very good place right now. I am super motivated, very positive and am losing again after a long (self imposed) plateau. BUT I still have one HUGE issue and it is really starting to grate me now.

I have this strange situation that whenever I eat a meal at my parents house, I sort of go into panick mode and end up eating far too much and feeling very very sick and angry at myself. Its as if my brain thinks that I have to wolf the food down and hurry up so that I can get a 2nd helping before anyone else does. That there won't be enough food and somehow I might go hungry...

It is so bizarre and absurd!! I know that it comes from years of self abuse and that my brain is conditioned that way. But you'd think that by now I would have gotten over it!! I feel so stupid that I get like this but I simply lose all self control when it comes to eating at my parents house. I have so much strength and control everywhere else. 

How do I stop this stupid self sabotage pattern? I love my family to bits and I WANT to spend time with them and go to them for meals (also helps the bank balance at the end of the month ;) ). I know that my dad has pretty much the same problem as I do. I see it all the time with him and it depresses me so much. Will I always be like this?

*sigh*

On another happier note, today is the most beautiful, sunny, warmish day ever! I just walked to the coffee shop to get a cuppuccino (skinny of course) and I felt the sun on my back and breathed in the sweetest morning air. I love days like this! I wish I could bottle them and share them with you all. *happy sigh*

So all is not bad in the world :)
Go stand outside for a few minutes, look at the trees, the grass, the sky, take a long deep breath and have a wonderful day!